


Let Stars Be My Asterisks

by ABSedarian



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Humor, Romance, and Regina derives some pleasure from helping him to fail spectacularly, as close to a crack!fic as I'm going to get, based on Cyrano de Bergerac, but is always subject to change, in which Hook is a jerk, rating is mostly for language, while still trying to stay somewhat in character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-08
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-16 15:49:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 29,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2275560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABSedarian/pseuds/ABSedarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina and Emma have stopped talking to each other after Emma came back from the past with Marian in tow ... but all that means is that they’re thinking about each other while avoiding to talk. Regina refuses to talk to Emma since she can't bear to see the woman she loves with her pirate boyfriend. Emma on the other hand ignores Hook because all she can think about is Regina. Hook thinks he should be the center of Emma's attention and decides to woo Emma by writing her a love letter – and he goes to Regina for help, offering her an opportunity she can’t ignore. </p>
<p>Based on Cyrano de Bergerac.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** Not my characters.  
>  **A/N:** The story is (very) loosely based on Edmond Rostand’s _Cyrano de Bergerac_ (and Steve Martin's movie remake of the play, _Roxanne_ ). Title is from a line in the play.  
>  **A/N 2:** You might want to give this one a miss if you like Hook. Because I don’t, and it shows (this is definitely anti-CS). Robin is more or less ignored … well, he is a forgettable character anyway.  
>  **A/N 3:** I've decided to post shorter chaptersthis time around, which means that updates should come more regularly. I apologize to everyone who is waiting for _Trauma Team_ or _Hide and Seek_ but my muse decided to take a detour, and if I ignore her, bad things happen. (Last time she packed her bags and went on a tequila binge in Mexico for four months.)

In the four months since the Savior had brought Maid Marian back from the dead – or as other people called it, the happy reunion of true loves – Regina had withdrawn from the town, preferring instead to spend her days in her mansion with her books, her thoughts, and her son, when he chose to come and stay with her. 

And the town had let her be … even Emma, after a few weeks of daily attempts to apologize and somehow get Regina to forgive her. Regina had stopped opening the door after a week of the same muttered phrases, close to despairing at Emma's continued repetition of _I'm so sorry ..._ and _I didn't know ...,_ always combined with a defiant _It was the right thing to do and you know it!,_ and finally an _It's who I am, goddamn fucking hell, you can't be mad at me for that forever!_

Regina had thrown the door in Emma's face after that last one and hadn't opened it again, even though Emma had been right. Regina _hadn’t_ stayed mad at her for bringing Robin’s wife back from the dead because she hadn’t really been mad about _that_ in the first place. She just wished that Emma would understand that it wasn't the end of her brief relationship with Robin that was the issue; it was the betrayal Regina felt, the hurt that it had been _Emma_ , had been someone she had come to care for … and care for so much more than Regina had ever thought possible. 

The fact was that Regina Mills was in love with Emma Swan, and had been for a long time. She could still feel the pain in her heart from the year she had to spend apart from not just Henry but Emma as well. And the only reason she ever started anything with Robin in Storybrooke was that she had seen Emma running around with Hook all over her all the time. If there was no chance of Emma ever returning her feelings, she might as well try to find a happy ending somewhere else, and at least Robin had been a decent man, and he wasn’t afraid of her. She probably would have gotten over that forest smell at some point, she figured. And then there was the whole destiny thing – according to Tink’s fairy dust, she was actually _meant_ to be with him, no matter how unreal it felt. 

But Emma hadn’t come back after that day, neither with more apologies nor with an insight into why Regina had really been so hurt. No, Emma had left her completely alone after Regina had thrown the door in her face, and so had anybody else except for Henry. 

Which was why the insistent knocking on her door one Tuesday morning came as a huge surprise, and when Regina peeked out the window to see who dared disturb her – ignoring the surge of hope that it might be Emma – the surprise increased tenfold, and not in a pleasant way. 

_Hook._

What on earth could the handless wonder want from her? He had already gotten Emma, so what else was there? She opened the door against her better knowledge. 

"To what do I owe this extreme displeasure?" she asked icily, eyeing him with all the disdain he deserved. 

Hook didn't seem to care. "Your Majesty," he drawled. 

"What do you want, Pirate?" 

Hook put on his cockiest smirk. "I need a favor," he said confidently, going straight for the point. "I want you to help me woo Emma." 

Regina hoped to hell that her shock wasn't too visible on her face. "Are you out of your deranged, pea-sized mind?” she ground out, her magic flaring up and heading straight for her hands which were already itching to throw a fireball at him for this cruel joke. She needed to take a deep breath to calm herself before opening her mouth again. “I don’t like you, Pirate, and I never have. What makes you think I would do _anything_ for you?” Especially _that_. 

Hook mustered her. "Because she's been forgetting about her own happiness since we came back from the past," he finally said. "Since you stopped talking to her to be precise. For some reason she seems to blame herself for your mood." 

"Maybe because what happened _is_ her fault," Regina replied. "What does that have to do with you polluting my porch?" 

The pirate started cleaning his hook against his coat, although Regina doubted the garment would do much. "She kissed me when we returned ... and not for the first time, I might add," he muttered. "But since then she has been avoiding me." 

"She probably can't stand your smell," Regina snarked, waving her hand in front of her face. “You should try a shower and clean clothes for a change. Contrary to your belief, baths are actually _not_ bad for you.” 

Hook didn't even react. "She said it's because I don't know who she really is," he stated. “She says we have nothing in common ... but we do." 

"Oh?" Regina asked. "Like what?" 

Hook smiled. "She's beautiful, I'm dashing," he replied. "We both love adventures, we're both very smart, we–“ 

Regina held up a hand to stop him before her eyes rolled so far back in her head that they took permanent residence there. "I get the point." _But you don't, Pirate._ "What is it you think I can do for you?" 

"You owe Emma," Hook replied. "She shouldn't have to give up her happy ending just because she did what she thought was right." 

"And you think _you're_ her happy ending?" The thought made Regina's insides cramp uncomfortably and she didn't want to spend too much time thinking about the why but her mind told her anyway. _Because if that is true, you are well and truly doomed._

"Obviously," Hook returned with a smirk. "I'm the best man she could get ... I even gave my ship up for her." 

_I gave her ten years of good memories, but do you hear me gloating about it?_ "You still haven't given me one reason why I should help you," Regina reminded him. 

"Because I deserve her love," Hook replied in a tone that made clear that he thought the answer should be obvious. “Because I want her ... and I gave up–" 

"... your ship for her, yeah, yeah, I know." 

"Do it for her, if you won't do it for me, Your Majesty," Hook continued seriously. "She deserves to be happy, and I'm just the man to do it for her ... but she won't even listen to me these days, so I don't know how to convince her." 

Regina bit her bottom lip while her insides continued churning. The thought that Emma could find happiness with Hook made her want to throw up, but if that was what Emma _really_ wanted ... She barely managed to suppress a sigh. She _wanted_ Emma to be happy but she wanted Emma to find happiness with _her_. Not Hook. _Her._ Regina had the sudden urge to laugh at the way her life had turned out. _What a farce it has become._

"Are you going to help me or not?" Hook interrupted her musings. 

This time Regina allowed herself a sigh as deep and dark as the sea. "What did you have in mind? I am _not_ making you a love potion or anything else that involves magic." 

"No, no, nothing of the sort," Hook replied immediately, holding up his hands. "What I want involves words and good penmanship, not potions and spells." 

"Words? Penmanship?" 

"Yes." Hook nodded hopefully. "I want to write her a letter. If she doesn't want to talk to me, I thought maybe words on paper might persuade her to give me a chance ... but I can barely spell my own name, let alone write the kind of letter that I want, the kind that makes her swoon and run into my arms." 

"Why come to me? Why not just dictate your objectionable prose to someone and be done with it?" 

"Because I can't express myself the way she wants me to ... I need to show her that I know her but I have no idea what she wants to hear. And I think you know what she's like, you know ... you could say what I can't put into words." 

Regina wanted to slap him from one side of her porch to the other. Why on earth had Emma fallen in love with this idiot who didn't even deserve to be in the same room with her? He had no idea who Emma was, that much was clear. But whatever made Emma happy, right? And maybe, just maybe Hook would learn something about the woman he claimed to love along the way. 

"Write down what you want to say and come back tomorrow," Regina heard herself say. "We'll go through it together." 

With that she turned around and threw the door in Hook's face. She had a lot to think about. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Regina tries to stop herself from killing Hook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: see Chapter 1.
> 
> A/N: Thank you all for the kudos and comments. They are much appreciated. :)
> 
> A/N 2: I swear the next chapter has Emma in it, but since the chapters are shorter, this is still the part where Regina has to deal with Hook.

Hook returned in the later afternoon of the following day and Regina reluctantly let him into her home, glad that Henry was with Emma, so she didn’t have to worry about any questions that might otherwise arise from Hook’s presence. As she led Hook into her study, she was asking herself once again — just like she had continuously since his request — why she was even thinking of helping him. When he spread his unwashed body all over one of her chairs, she got extremely close to throwing him out but then he handed her a sheet of paper, and she found herself curious about the words he deemed appropriate for Emma. 

_Swan,_ Regina read and rolled her eyes. It was already clear that he needed help. His scrawl was barely legible. 

_I don't know why you ignore me like this. I know you miss me and my devilishly handsome face. When I watch you around town I can see in your eyes that you are stressed. You should let me take care of that for you. My loins are burning for you._

_Meet me, so I can help you relax. My sword is always at your service._

_Yours,_

_Hook_

“Oh my God,” Regina muttered when she had finished reading the short missive. 

“It’s good, isn’t it?” Hook said, clearly quite proud of himself. “We just need to polish it a little and make sure it looks nice.” 

Regina swallowed. “How long did you work on this?” 

“Most of last night,” Hook smiled. “And this morning … and I reworked it a little before I came here. What do you think?” 

“This is _vile_ , Hook,” Regina spat. “There’s no way you can send something like this … this horny rambling to Emma.” She tore the letter into tiny pieces. "She's not some wench in a backwoods tavern somewhere you want to get in bed. I thought you _loved_ her …” Her mouth curled in disgust as she tossed his letter into the fire and accelerated the destruction a little with a small but satisfying burst of magic. 

“Hey, that’s my letter … I worked hard on that,” Hook protested. “I wrote that from the bottom of my heart!” 

Regina whirled around to face him. “The only body part that was involved in writing _that_ was that tiny one between your legs,” she shouted. She took a couple of deep breath to calm her temper wondering idly if Hook knew how much he was flirting with death at this very instant. 

Hook looked down. “It’s not tiny, I’ll have you know,” he said. “Emma can look forward to being very well satisfied.” 

“Stop talking,” Regina bellowed. “This really can’t be what you really want to tell Emma. You wouldn't need a letter for that … it's the same verbal diarrhea that comes out of your mouth whenever you open it anyway." 

“I told you she’s avoiding me,” Hook explained slowly. “That’s why I need to _write_ to her.” 

“I can certainly see why she’s staying far, far away from you,” Regina scoffed. “You’re lucky she hasn’t set you on fire yet.” 

“What do you mean?” Hook looked confused. “She loves the way I talk.” 

“Excuse me if I have my doubts,” Regina said dryly. “Your presence here says otherwise.” 

“Okay, but now that you destroyed my letter and have tried to attack my ego, no matter how unsuccessfully I might add, … what do you propose we do?” 

Regina sat down behind her desk. “Now you’re going to write an actual letter,” she told Hook. 

“I can’t!” Hook whined. “Can’t I just tell you what to write and you make it sound a little more … I don’t know … _refined_?” 

Regina sighed deeply. She’d have to mask her handwriting because Emma might recognize it otherwise but it would work. Besides, writing the letter herself she’d have a lot more control over what went into it. With a smirk hidden behind the hair falling around her face she took a sheet of paper and a pen. “Okay, talk.” 

“Thank you, Regina!” Hook ignored the glare she sent his way at the use of her name. “Er … how do we start?” 

Regina fought the urge to bang her head on the desk. “What is it that you want to achieve with your letter?” 

“Honestly?” 

“That would be preferable, yes.” 

“I just want her,” Hook replied bluntly, speaking freely. “She’s been teasing me for so long now, and I’ve been so damn good … I think it’s time I get a reward for my efforts.” 

The fireball in Regina’s hand appeared almost unbidden. “So you _really_ just wantto get her in your bed,” she growled. 

Hook jumped a little at the tone in her voice and the fireball that was flickering unsteadily in his direction. “N-no, that’s not all I want,” he amended hastily. “It’s just the immediate goal.” He eyed her suspiciously. "Why do you care about Emma all of a sudden?" 

Regina ignored his question. “Immediate goal? And what is your long-term goal?” Her voice got deeper and more threatening. 

“Long-term? I’m a pirate, luv.” The fireball flickered again and Hook quickly got up from the armchair and put more distance between himself and the threat behind the desk. “But I like Swan, really … and I’d like to see where this goes.” 

“Do. You. Love. Her?” Regina’s voice was not getting any less dangerous. 

Hook eyed her curiously. “I don't know … I think I might … it’s been a long time since I thought I might want a lass for more than an adventurous week in bed. After Milah …but Swan … she’s special.” 

_Yes, she is, and she’s too good for you._ Regina had finally made up her mind. Oh, she was going to write a letter for him … in fact, she was probably going to write a whole campaign of letters. If Hook had been able to convince her that he truly loved Emma, she would even have copied his scrawl, although she doubted she could come up with enough sexual innuendos to make it look like _his_ words. But now? Now she was going to make damn sure that Emma had a good chance of figuring out that Hook _could_ _not_ be the person who had written them. And looking at Hook’s unbearably cocky smirk right now? She didn’t even feel bad about it. 

_He_ decided to come to the Evil Queen for help, after all. Help with _wooing_ the woman said queen loved. All in all, not the best plan … and she hoped Emma would recognize what was going on. 

"Right," Regina said with a sense of resigned finality. "Let's get started then." She watched him settle back in his chair, watching her carefully. "What was the first thing you thought when you saw Emma back in the Enchanted Forest?” _Before you and my mother tried to kill her._

"My first thought?" Hook's smirk turned lecherous. "Now _that's_ a wench I wouldn't mind sheathing my sword in," he replied. "And then I wondered what kind of land made its people wear such weird garments." 

Regina nodded while simultaneously trying not to throw up in her mouth. "So we'll say that the first time you saw her beautiful face, you were moved or maybe excited, and she made a lasting impression." She scribbled a few words. 

"Sounds good, luv." 

"Call me that again and your hook will find a permanent resting place in a part of your body where the sun won't reach," Regina warned without looking up. "What else were you thinking in those early days?" 

Hook swallowed audibly, which pacified Regina a little. "When she left me on top of that beanstalk I was furious and wanted to kill her ... but I also wouldn't have minded if she had tied me up again in a more pleasurable way. And when we fought she got my heart pumping with her strength and I just wanted to throw her down and fuck her smirk off her face. She got me so hard …” He sighed dreamily. 

Regina wasn't sure if he really was that crass and single-minded or if he was deliberately testing her patience. She found she didn't care, she couldn't take his presence any longer, not if she wanted to refrain from killing him. "I've heard enough," she snarled. "Get out of my house." 

Something in her voice made Hook jump up immediately. "What about my letter?" he asked from the doorway. 

"Don't worry, I'll write one and sign it with your name. I will make sure that Emma has it by tonight." 

Hook nodded, then beat a hasty retreat, but Regina ignored him anyway. She got up and poured herself a large glass of cider which she emptied immediately to purge Hook's presence from her brain. 

Then she sat back down to write a love letter which turned Hook's crude words and intentions into something beautiful, pouring her own feelings into every word and line. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Snow is unexpectedly perceptive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: not my characters, but I do own my mistakes. :)

“Emma?” 

The sheriff looked up from her computer when she heard her mother’s overly enthusiastic voice ringing out from her front door. When would Snow ever learn that it wasn’t okay to just waltz through the door? 

“I see Henry must have left the door wide open again,” Emma commented laconically, still bent over her keyboard. “Or is it just too much effort to knock?” 

“Oh, Emma,” Snow said as she came into the room, Neal in her arm. “Are you trying to say that your own mother can’t use her key? Maybe you shouldn’t have given it to me then.” 

Emma wordlessly held out her hand, hoping Snow would get the hint. She was sick and tired of having no privacy even in the house she moved into after her return from the past. 

Snow swatted the hand away with an indulgent smile. “Oh, Emma, never change.” 

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Emma muttered. 

“Anyway, I only came by to bring you some leftovers. I was only going to drop them and leave quietly again,” Snow explained. “I thought Hook might be here,” she added, trying to sound casual. 

That got Emma’s attention. “Why would he be?” 

“Because I thought you two were dating.” Snow sat down on the sofa next to Emma. “Although recently … has that changed? Is that why … You’ve been a little distanced with everyone lately, that’s true, but I thought—“ 

“We’re taking a break … _I’m_ taking a break,” Emma interrupted her mother’s rambling. “What's that?” She pointed at something in the hand that Snow wasn't using to hold her baby brother. 

“Oh, this?” Snow lifted the hand a little. “I found this on your door step. It seems to be a letter of some sort, and it’s addressed to you.” 

Emma counted to five in her head, then to ten for good measure. “I can see that,” she ground out finally. “So why are you still holding onto it?” 

“My, you’re in a bad mood today, aren’t you?” Snow’s voice was mild and understanding. “Is it Hook? Did he do something … say something to you? Is that why you’re taking a break?” 

Emma ripped the letter from Snow’s hand and stood to put some distance between them. “No, it’s not Hook,” she growled. 

“Ah.” 

“Ah?” 

“Regina then,” Snow stated, making it sound as if it was the most obvious conclusion in the world. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Emma refused to meet her mother’s eyes, instead choosing to open the letter. She couldn’t remember if she had ever had a handwritten letter before. 

“What I’m talking about is the fact that ever since you came back from the past with Marian, you’ve been getting crankier with every day that Regina refuses to talk to you,” Snow said almost gently. “I’m talking about the fact that your need to get Regina to forgive you is making you forget your boyfriend, your family, and on exceptionally bad days, most of your manners.” 

“I never had any manners,” Emma muttered darkly, shooting her mother a look. “Not even on my best days.” 

Snow sighed. “You know that’s not true … it’s just that you always react so … _extremely_ where Regina is concerned.” She shook her head. “It’s almost as if …,” she added under her breath. _But no, that couldn’t be it … could it?_

“As if what?” Emma challenged. 

Snow waved her off with what she hoped was a disarming smile. She was not going to be the one to ask her daughter if there had been something going on with Regina and her before this latest disater. If Emma had feelings for Regina, it would explain _so_ much, but this time _she_ wasn’t going to say anything. Probably. Possibly. Okay, maybe. “Ah, nothing … ignore me,” she said dismissively. “Now, what does the letter say? Who would be writing to you?” 

Emma scanned to the end of the letter and raised an eyebrow. “Hook, apparently.” 

“He can write?” Snow blurted. 

Emma shrugged. “Yeah, I’m a little surprised too,” she chuckled as she studied the page. “The handwriting looks pretty neat even.” It was maybe a little blockish, as if someone had taken great care to make sure it was legible, but it wasn’t by any means what she had expected from the pirate. 

And neither were the words that were slowly working their way into her brain. 

_My dear Emma,  
Since we’re not talking at the moment, I feel compelled to write to you instead in an attempt to reach your ears, your eyes, and your heart. My only desire is to try and convey my feelings for you through these inadequate words, born in the heart of someone who loves you. Someone who thinks you’re the most extraordinary person in this town. If you only asked, I’d pluck a few stars from the night skies to give to you, but they could never match the brilliance of your smile. I’d create a forest for you but its green would look dull compared to your eyes. _

_I realize that you might think these the ramblings of an overly romantic, lovestruck fool, and yet I find myself hoping that you won’t scoff or laugh. At least I did not quote Shakespeare, right? At least not yet._

_Did you know that I still recall the exact moment when I first saw you like it happened only a second ago? I looked up and there you were, and I suddenly felt breathless. Your sight set my heart and mind aflame in an instant, and the impression you made on me stayed with me long into the night. It still lingers in my heart, and when I feel sad or lonely, I look at all my moments with you with fondness in my heart, and hope blooming in my chest that perhaps you could one day feel for me as I feel for you._

_Will you give me a chance or will I have to keep longing for you from afar?_

_Eternally,  
Your dashing pirate _

Emma lowered the letter as she stared into the far distance. The words had made her feel special, adored, loved even, and those weren’t exactly the kinds of emotions Hook usually brought forth. There was something off here, she could feel it in her gut. 

Snow saw her look and the frown. “What is it, honey? Did something happen? What does it say?” 

Deep in thought, Emma handed over the letter without comment, and just kept biting her bottom lip. If she could only put her finger on what felt so _off_ about the letter … 

“There is _no_ _way_ Hook wrote this.” Snow’s words interrupted Emma’s intense lip-biting session. Snow looked back to the words on the page. Something about them, the style, the language, the way the words were put together niggled at her brain. If the letter hadn’t been sent signed, her first thought would have been ... _No, that's impossible after what happened with Robin and Marian and Emma's part in that. Regina wouldn't ... she couldn't, could she? But what if … oh my …_

It took a second for Snow’s words to register but they made sense to Emma. _That would certainly explain why this feels kinda weird,_ she thought. “But why would whoever wrote the letter sign it with his name?” she continued, just thinking aloud. Snow looked at the letter again but before she could reply Emma continued in the same vein. “Do you think it's possible he asked someone for help because he actually _really_ can't write?” 

“You mean like a scribe? Emma … honey,” Snow said slowly, carefully. “You _do_ remember the way Hook usually talks, right?” It was certainly nothing she would ever forget, having been subjected to some of his cruder comments just by being in Emma’s general vicinity. “I doubt anyone in the world could turn anything he said into such beautiful words.” 

“You think the letter’s beautiful?” Emma asked softly. “I thought so too, although Hook’s right, I’m really not the most romantic girl in the world. Then again, I never thought he was either … 

“The letter really is quite beautiful,” Snow insisted. “But … I’m sorry … it just doesn’t sound like Hook at all.” 

“Maybe that’s the point?” Emma muttered, taking the letter back and scanning it again. “Maybe he’s trying to change and be a bit more …” 

“… more palatable for human society? Less like a neanderthal?” Snow didn’t sound convinced, but she decided that it wasn’t her position to tell Emma what to think. “Maybe you _should_ meet with him … talk to him, see if he’s really changing,” she suggested. _That should help clear this up. There was no way Hook had written the letter, and the easiest way for Emma to realize that was to actually talk to the man._

“Hmm, maybe I should.” 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Regina dismisses Hook, Snow is suspicious, and Henry things adults are weird.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters, I'm just borrowing them to have some fun.

Regina’s Thursday morning was once again interrupted by insistent knocks on her door, but this time Henry beat her to it and pulled it open. “What are you doing here?” he asked after staring at the visitor for a moment, curiosity written all over his face. 

“What are _you_ doing here, mate? Don’t you have school or something?” Hook scratched his head with his hook, clearly surprised and uncomfortable. 

“School’s out for summer,” Henry shrugged. “Which explains _my_ presence. What about yours?” 

Regina watched silently from the door to her study, her face showing a proud smile at how easily Henry made Hook more and more uncomfortable with his questions. “I have business with Regina. Private business,” the pirate muttered, looking defiant, which Regina found amusing in a grown man facing a young boy. 

“You have business with my mom?” Henry put a slight emphasis on the last two words, not letting up in the slightest. 

Regina watched for another moment, heart growing with love for the way Henry stood as tall as he could in the face of the pirate at their door, but then she decided to intervene. “It’s all right, Henry,” she said, putting one arm around his shoulders, still receiving a warm jolt of happiness when he didn’t flinch or pull away. “Why don’t you go upstairs so I can see what that pirate wants?” 

Henry grinned up at his mom, reading the inflection in her tone perfectly. This was not going to be a fun visit for Hook but he really didn’t need to be there for it, especially not if he wasn’t allowed to stay downstairs and listen. “Can I go visit grandma instead? I’d like to see my uncle.” His grin turned goofy at the words, still enamored with the absurdity of it all. 

Regina loved that he was asking instead of just running off these days. They really were in a good place. As much as she had suffered through Neverland and the year apart, in some ways it had been very good for her relationship with her son. “Sure,” she said. “Be back for lunch?” 

Henry looked up at her with a shrewd expression on his face. “Why don’t we meet at the diner and have lunch there, Mom?” 

Regina sighed. She hadn’t been back since _that_ night, and she wasn’t planning on going today. “I’m sorry, Henry,” she denied his request. “I’m not sure how long this business with Hook is going to take. Another day perhaps?” 

Henry nodded sadly, another one of his plans foiled. He hugged his mom tightly, wishing he could get her to rejoin the world. “One day soon you’ll have to leave our house,” he whispered. Then he pulled away and left. 

Regina stared after him. If only he weren’t growing up so fast. He was already so much more grown-up than any other kids with how much he had experienced in his young life. She also knew he was right, and was only trying to help. 

Her eyes fell on Hook who was still standing on her porch, unabashedly ogling her. “What is it that you want, Pirate?” 

“The letter didn’t work,” Hook complained. “I haven’t heard from Emma. Did you even write one? Or was it simply so bad that Emma tossed it away half-read?” 

Regina rolled her eyes as she let Hook inside and closed the door behind him. “What did you expect?” she asked. “That Emma reads one letter that isn’t filled with horrible innuendo, and just swoons and sinks into your arms?” 

“Aye,” Hook shrugged. “Sounds about right.” 

Regina snorted. “You really have no clue about women, do you?” 

“I know women just fine,” Hook protested with a snarl. “It’s this whole time travel business and its result that’s the problem here, not any kind of failure on my part. If _you_ hadn’t stopped talking to Emma, _she_ wouldn’t have stopped talking to me.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” Regina scoffed. “What do I have to do with your failure to court Emma?” 

“I’m not sure … yet,” Hook replied. “But that’s the only thing I can think of.” 

“Of course,” Regina smiled darkly. “Because looking for problems you caused would be detrimental to your ego. You’re such an unbelievable narcissist.” 

“Whatever. Besides, I’m not _courting_ Emma, I’m just trying to remind her that she’s mine and that she needs to get back to acting like that instead of ignoring me,” Hook dismissed her words. “And that is why I need you to write another letter. One that gets Emma to meet me so I can remind her in person. Emma only needs to agree to one date, then I’ll sweep her off her feet with my charms … and your job is done.” 

_My job is done when Emma has sent_ you _packing and maybe, hopefully will have agreed to let_ me _try and court her._ Regina tried not to picture Hook sweeping Emma off her feet either literally or figuratively, and actively tried to banish the images of them together from her head, but to no avail. She rubbed her sternum as discreetly as she could to make the ache go away but there wasn’t much she could do. Maybe pouring her feelings into another letter for Emma might actually help at this point. “All right,” she agreed, more for her own sake than Hook’s. “I’ll write another letter. She’ll have it sometime this afternoon.” 

She walked to the door, clearly expecting him to follow her out but Hook settled into the armchair with a smirk. “Oh no,” he said, making her stop and turn around at the door. “This time I’m staying right here until you’re finished like I should have done yesterday. I want to see what you write. It’s my bloody letter after all!” 

“Are you saying you don’t trust me, Hook?” Regina asked so silkily it could never be taken as anything but a threat. 

“Not even a little bit,” Hook replied evenly. 

“You seem to misunderstand the situation, Pirate.” Regina slowly stalked towards him, every bit the alpha predator in the room. “You came to _me_ for help with your pathetic inability to write a simple letter. I _chose_ to help you for reasons I still can’t quite fathom.” Hook shrank a little deeper into the armchair as Regina came closer. “So if you want me to write _another_ letter, you’ll remove your sorry hide from my house and let me work on that in peace.” 

Regina took a few steps back and leaned casually against her desk. “Or you can leave and hand Emma one of your own pathetic, miserable, innuendo-laden, barely legible attempts at writing. Either way, you’re leaving my house right now.” She shrugged for effect. “Your choice.” 

Hook’s face was contorted in rage when he jumped up from the chair and took three steps until he was right in Regina’s face. “You bloody w—” 

Regina remained unimpressed and her cocked eyebrow spoke volumes of her disdain for the man in front of her. “What did you say your choice was?” 

Hook’s hand curled into a fist but one look at the fireball that had appeared almost casually in Regina’s hand made him change his mind. “All right, I’m leaving,” he growled. “Make sure the letter gets me a date or I’ll be back.” 

Regina watched him storm off, out of the house and down the path. “Oh, I’m so scared,” she muttered with an almost evil grin. She was having way too much fun riling him up. 

She went to the kitchen to grab another coffee to clear her mind before sitting down at her desk, choosing some fine, but not _too_ fine, stationary. Running through the motions centered her, and she was calm and focused on Emma by the time she picked up her fountain pen and started another letter. 

**o-o-o**

“Hey, Grandma,” Henry called out as he entered his grandparents’ loft. “It’s me.” 

“Sshhh,” Snow shushed him as she came to greet him. “I just got Neal to sleep.” 

“Oh, sorry.” Henry went straight for the fridge and took out the orange juice that was always in there. 

“What are you doing here?” Snow asked as she wordlessly handed him a glass. “I thought you’d be spending all the time you can with Regina during the week you’re with her.” 

Henry shrugged. “Hook showed up at the house this morning and I felt weird about that.” 

“Hook came to see Regina?” Snow asked. _Now isn’t that interesting …_

“Yeah, and he looked really uncomfortable about seeing me there,” Henry replied. “I think whatever he wanted from my mom was supposed to be a secret.” He turned to Snow. “Do you think they’re planning something bad?” 

“No,” Snow shook her head immediately. “Your mother doesn’t even _like_ Hook, so I’m sure that’s not it.” Her mind, however, was working overtime. First Hook’s letter to Emma — a letter that hadn’t even remotely looked like it could have been written by the pirate — and a day later Hook suddenly had business with Regina? The timing was just too suspicious to be coincidence. 

Henry considered Snow’s words. “Yeah, mom didn’t seem exactly happy to see him. What do you think he wants with my mom? Do you think maybe …” 

Snow was barely listening as Henry continued to let his imagination run free. Her thoughts went back to the letter and the vibe she had gotten from it. Now that she knew Hook was talking to Regina, she was even more convinced that Regina had written it. 

But had it been Hook’s words that Regina had just written down like Emma wanted to believe? Or had it been Regina’s words and feelings? She wished she had the letter so she could read it again … but since she didn’t, she tried to remember the words, the sentiments, and try as she might, she couldn’t see Hook in any of them. Snow shook her head. No, the letter was all Regina. And if that was the case, then Regina was using her own voice to help Hook woo Emma. 

_Or was she?_ Snow didn’t know what to think. It wasn’t like she had even tried to make the letter look like it could have come from Hook, making it easy for her to figure it out. Did Regina want Emma to figure it out too? 

_I wish I could just ask Regina,_ Snow thought with a rueful sigh. 

“You’re not really listening to me, are you?” Henry grumbled next to her. “Man, why is everybody acting weird today?” 

“Huh? What?” Snow asked, needing a minute to switch gears. “What are you talking about, Henry?” 

“Nothing,” Henry grinned. “I think I’ll go see Ma. Maybe _she’s_ going to be normal.” 

He left, carefully closing the door behind himself with an almost silent _snick_. Snow smiled and shook her head. “I wouldn’t count on it,” she muttered under her breath. “There’s something in the air …” 

**o-o-o**

After a few hours spent running around outside Henry walked into the Sheriff’s station in the middle of the afternoon, hoping to find his birth mother playing darts or waste paper basketball. Instead he found her sitting at her desk, a piece of paper in her hands, a small smile on her lips. 

He watched Emma from the doorway, slightly miffed that she hadn’t noticed him yet, and saw how her smile grew bigger and warmer. Henry tried to track her eyes as they moved over the words, trying to figure out when she’d be finished reading so she would finally look up and see him, but just when he thought she was done, she simply seemed to go back to the beginning to start again. 

_Adults were weird._

Another few minutes later, Henry sighed heavily — unnoticed by his mother — and left to go home. At least his mom would make him a nice snack and he was really hungry now. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Regina feels sick, Ruby is being a friend, Emma is confused, and Snow tries not to reveal another secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I still don't own these characters.

Everything was quiet the next few days. Hook seemed to be laying low or at least not coming by, which did not mean that Regina had not written any letters. On the contrary, she had written one every day. She had even sent Hook a note telling him as much. His short reply had been: “Get me a date, I don’t care how.” 

The note had reeked of rum and Regina had tossed it into the fire immediately. 

Everything had been quiet around her house, so Regina was once more a little surprised by the knocks on her door which sounded suspiciously like metal thudding dully against wood. She opened it with a scowl. “If your hook so much as _scratches_ my door, I’ll remove it and use it to hang you upside down from my roof.” 

Hook took a step back, but the smile didn’t quite disappear from his face. “Hello to you too, Your Majesty,” he said, bowing a little. 

“Get to the point of your visit.” 

“I’m here to thank you.” Hook straightened back up. “I have no idea what you wrote in those letters but it definitely worked,” he explained. “Emma wants to meet with me tonight at eight at the docks so we can _talk_.” He waggled his eyebrows as he emphasized the last word, his mouth curled into a lecherous smirk. 

“It did? She does?” Regina breathed, wishing she were still evil enough to wipe that smirk off his face with the pointy end of his hook. There was a feeling in her chest as if someone had reached in to squeeze her heart with ice-cold fingers. How could Emma believe that her letter had come from the uncouth pirate? Had her command of the English language taken such a turn for the worse during their year in the Enchanted Forest? Or was Emma just believing what she wanted to believe? 

“How nice for you,” she finally managed to get out. 

“It is, it is,” Hook agreed. “But what do I say to her? What did you tell her in your … I mean _my_ letters?” 

Regina wanted Hook gone from her porch so she could go back inside and smash something. She had known theoretically that this was the supposed outcome of writing letters for him, but she hadn't realized just how much it would hurt. “In the first one I wrote about what you told me about the first impression she made on you,” she told him. “I just used nicer words. Then I continued to tell her how wonderful she— … _you thought_ she was. Now get off my porch.” 

She turned around to leave but Hook stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Wait.” 

“Take your hand off my arm before I remove it and feed it to the fish in the harbor,” Regina growled in a dangerously low voice. 

Hook pulled his hand back as if he’d been electrocuted. “All right, all right,” he tried to soothe Regina. “I just … I need your help.” 

“Again?” The disdain was obvious. 

“Again,” Hook admitted. “I don’t know what to say to her, not after the letters you sent her. You probably used lots of fancy words.” 

_Fancy words are not the way to Emma’s heart, you imbecile. Treating her like the extraordinary woman she is, however, just might be._ Regina bit back an evil grin. “You probably should have given that some thought before you _urged_ me to write those letters _for_ you,” she reminded him. “And while I _can_ write your letters for you, I definitely _cannot_ actually _speak_ for you.” 

“You can’t?” Hook looked disappointed. “Can’t you … I thought maybe you could use your magic to make yourself look like me and talk to her?” 

_That would be a complete waste of a glamor spell._ Regina burst out laughing but it was far from a joyous sound. “And just how far would you like me to take that charade?” she taunted him. “Should I take Emma to bed in your body too because your neanderthal brain can’t form words and make sentences like a decent human being?” 

“Hey, you wouldn’t have to go _that_ far,” Hook protested. “I’d be close by, of course, and we’d switch places before you would get her naked and into bed …” He paused and watched Regina who feared for a moment that her feelings hadn’t been hidden as well as she had hoped. Then Hook smirked and waggled his eyebrow. “Now that I think about it … I don’t think I’ll be needing you after all — with my charm and good looks I’m certain I can persuade Emma to give into her feelings for me.” 

_Not with the way_ you _talk, I’m sure,_ Regina thought, taking care not to hurl the words in his face. “If you say so,” she said mildly. “Good luck with your date.” She wondered if she sounded as insincere as she felt as she stepped inside the house and firmly closed the door behind herself. 

She took a deep, shuddering breath to try and stop the nausea she was feeling, clutching her arms around her body to hold herself together. It was no use, the thought of Emma with Hook, Emma giving into Hook’s advances made her feel sick to her stomach. She was going to need a drink or throw up, and maybe not necessarily in that order. 

**o-o-o**

She was just restless and needed to go for a walk, Regina told herself as she set out that night for a stroll that was headed straight for the docks. On the way she fought with herself over the jealousy churning in her guts, and she diverted her course and headed for Granny’s instead. It was too early anyway, although Regina refused to acknowledge what exactly it was too early for. 

There was only a small crowd enjoying their dinner inside, but every single person looked up when she entered. She rolled her eyes and made her way over to a free booth in the back where she could get her preferred seat, back to the wall, all entrances and exits in easy view. 

“Hey, Regina,” Ruby called out, actually managing to sound happy to see her. “I’ve missed you in here. Nobody really appreciates our apple pie any more … well, except for Henry and Emma … and Snow nowadays, come to think of it.” She grinned widely and, after a look around to make sure that she had a few minutes, she sat down across from her. “Robin and his … family were in earlier,” Ruby whispered, “so you won’t be subjected to his presence.” 

Regina raised an eyebrow at that unsolicited but not unwelcome information. “What makes you think I care, Miss Lucas?” 

Ruby just smiled knowingly. “It might be the fact that it’s the first time since that night that you’re in here,” she replied casually. “He comes here quite often … I think he’s trying to introduce Marian to modern life through food.” 

“I really don’t need to know that,” Regina warned. 

Ruby leaned over the table, getting as close to Regina as she could with the table between them. “I always make sure his food is barely edible, either too salted or too spicy, you know,” she revealed in a conspiratorial whisper. “Last week I put lemon juice in his coffee.” 

Regina grinned despite herself and she barely noticed when the tension in her shoulder eased somewhat. “You don’t agree with what happened?” she asked, wondering why Ruby was doing what she was doing. 

“Oh, I completely agree with Emma bringing Marian back,” Ruby explained. “It was the right thing to do.” 

“Then why …” 

Ruby shrugged. “However, I heard him talk to Marian about the talk he had with you, and I really disagree with the way he handled the situation. I think he deserves to suffer a little for that.” She paused. “Frankly, I was hoping I could drive him away from the diner, so that you’d come back. You’re much nicer to look at than he is, and I think even Granny misses you. She’d gladly lose the forest folk as customers as long as it meant you and your snark came back regularly.” 

“Well, I’m here now,” Regina stated as Ruby got up, and her voice managed to convey her gratitude without actually saying _thank you_. “But I’m okay, really … I’m over him.” 

Ruby studied her for a moment. “You know what? I actually believe you. Does that mean I should stop with—“ 

“Absolutely … not,” Regina replied with a devilish grin. “In fact, you should try adding a few fresh chilies to whatever he has for breakfast some morning. But please, take a picture when you do.” 

Ruby laughed raucously and left to get Regina her usual. 

**o-o-o**

Emma walked past the diner on her way to the harbor. The door opened as a couple of people left, nodding to her as they walked past. Emma’s gaze never left the dark figure she had spotted sitting at a booth in the back. She was glad to see Regina outside of her mansion, but the thought that Ruby could talk to her while _she_ was still being ignored hurt more than she could have imagined. 

She missed Regina with every fiber of her being. Especially now that Hook was chasing her so relentlessly, and was writing those letters, letters that didn’t sound like him at all. Letters that she had to convince herself were from him because she thought she should believe him. 

Whenever she mentioned her doubts to Snow, her mother just smiled and nodded knowingly, making vague humming noises that only confused Emma even more. It almost felt as if Snow knew something about the letters she _didn’t_ , and with every letter that arrived, the feeling had gotten worse. It didn’t help that only the first letter had been signed, and every one after that first one had just ended in “ _Yours forever”_. 

Even the handwriting had changed subtly, getting smoother, more elegant, as if the person writing them — _Hook,_ Emma had to remind herself forcefully — was coming into their own more and more with each letter. Emma was falling in love with the person behind the letters, and she needed _proof_ that it was Hook who had written them. And that was why she had finally agreed to meet him. 

Snow had made another noise when she had told her that she just needed to be _sure_ , one that could have signified acceptance just as much as disapproval. And when Emma had asked Snow about her strange behavior, her mother had smiled mysteriously and had asked one simple question: “Whose voice do you hear when you read those letters?” 

Emma hadn’t replied because the name _Hook_ hadn’t wanted to cross her lips for some reason. She had changed the subject, refusing to think about why that might be, what it might mean. But that night, when she had been lying in bed rereading the letters, it hadn’t been _his_ voice she heard in her head. 

Just like all the other nights. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ruby watches Regina watch Emma have a date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters. Sad, but true.

Emma was nervous. Or at least that’s what she thought the strange feeling in her gut was. It wasn’t just the fact that she had successfully avoided Hook for weeks now, but also the fact that this had apparently driven him to send her all those beautiful letters — in the end she had felt compelled to give him a chance to talk to her. 

On her way to the docks she began to wonder once again what he would be saying to her, how the beautiful words she’d read would sound coming out of his mouth in that accent of his. When she had mentioned as much to Snow over breakfast at Granny’s she had been surprised to see her mother roll her eyes and shake her head. She could have sworn she heard Snow mutter something like “ _funny, it’s not_ his _voice I heard in my head when I read that letter”_ but she must have misunderstood. 

Because, after all, if Hook hadn’t written the letters, then who could have? One particular face appeared in her mind but she chased that thought away quickly. _There’s no way, she’s not even talking to me right now. I ruined her life. She hates me._ That thought did nothing to make her strange feelings go away, however, so she arrived at the docks with a frown on her face and a slump to her shoulders. 

For a moment she thought about sitting down on one of the benches but that felt wrong somehow, especially when she imagined Hook sitting down on the other one — and for some reason that’s where she automatically placed him in her mind — so she paced up and down the boardwalk instead, cursing herself for actually being on time for once in her life. 

And then there were steps behind her, thudding heavily. Before she had time to turn around she could already hear Hook’s cocky greeting. “Hello, luv.” 

**o-o-o**

Regina was standing a safe distance away from the dock, hidden deep in the shadows of a tree. A streetlight close by had conveniently malfunctioned when she waved at it as she was walking past, so she felt relatively safe, shrouded in darkness. 

Unfortunately, she was too far away to hear what was being said, and she resisted the urge to use magical means to enhance her hearing. 

**o-o-o**

Ruby had no such problems or qualms. Wolf senses were a wonderful thing, and if Regina was interested in Emma’s date with the pirate, then so was she. She absolutely didn’t believe that Regina was there to hurt Emma but _something_ had made Ruby follow her when Regina left the diner, and she had always fared well when she had followed her instincts. 

And now that she was seeing Regina’s face as she watched Emma and Hook talking, she had her gut feeling confirmed. There was no doubt in her mind that Regina Mills was in love with Emma Swan. _No wonder she’s over that forest troll already_. 

Not that this was going any better for Regina, Ruby thought as Hook got deep into Emma’s personal space, although it didn’t seem as if Emma was too happy about it. One look at Regina confirmed that the former Evil Queen _definitely_ didn’t like the development one bit. 

Ruby slowly made her way closer to Regina while listening in on the conversation going on by the water. 

**o-o-o**

“Hello, Hook,” Emma greeted, a little reserved. 

“Well, at least you recognized me after all this time,” Hook said, a smirk playing around his lips. “On the other hand, how could you ever forget a devilishly handsome pirate like me?” 

He took a step closer to Emma, she took a step back. “I got your letters,” she said unnecessarily as she tried to keep a little distance between them. 

“And I’m very happy about that,” Hook replied. “I was wondering what else I could do to get you to … _talk_ to me. I missed you quite terribly, you know. I'm not used to having my advances refused." 

Emma wasn’t sure what to make of Hook. He wasn’t spouting as much bullshit as she was used to, but he also wasn’t exactly the Hook from his letters. Emma decided that she needed to let him talk more to figure out what this was all about, to see if he was being serious. “I _liked_ your letters,” she said quietly. “They were beautiful. I didn’t know you could write like that.” _Or at all._ “Where did you learn to write so beautifully?” 

Hook shrugged it off. “All over the place … picked it up over time, a word here, a phrase there …” 

Emma interrupted him with a smile. “Tell me something beautiful, Hook.” 

“What?” He swallowed hard. 

“Like in your letters,” Emma clarified, wondering why he seemed to look almost scared for a moment before he could cover it up. “Say something that will take my breath away.” 

“Oh, lass, if you want me to take your breath away, I’ve got something much better and bigger than words for you.” 

Emma’s eyes widened. _That_ was the Hook she knew and barely tolerated. “I meant …say something … I don’t know … _romantic_ ,” she tried again. “I thought you wanted this to be a date.” 

Hook looked deep in thought for a long time and Emma was beginning to have hope that he really had two sides, and he only had to dig really hard for the eloquent, sensitive one. “Well, Swan,” he started, running his hand through his hair and pushing his hips forward, “you are without a doubt the finest lass I’ve seen in a hundred years or so.” He started pacing back and forth in front of her. “ _Romantic_ ,” he mumbled under his breath. Louder, he continued with, “Your legs are great, and I’m really glad that the modern clothes here allow me the pleasure of watching them in all their glory _all_ the time.” He leered at her and his mind drifted away. “I imagine them wrapped around my waist as I take you against—” 

“Stop!” Emma’s face scrunched up in horror. “In what world is _that_ romantic? What happened to the man who wrote those letters?” 

“What are you talking about, Swan?” Hook seemed surprised at the question. “The letters were meant to get you here … and now that I have you in my presence again, I’m merely making my intentions clear.” 

“And your intention is _to_ _take me against something_? What? A wall in some alley?” 

Hook grinned. “It’s a lot of fun, Swan,” he insisted. “You should give it a try, and I’m the man for the job. I assure you I’m even better at _that_ than I am at kissing.” 

“I don’t believe it,” Emma muttered, repulsed by his behavior. “Your letters made it sound like you actually cared about me … and not just my legs or ass or whatever has your little brain working overtime.” 

“Oh, but I do ... I'm just much better at showing than telling.” Hook said with what he thought was a winning smile. “And I really wouldn’t mind giving you a demonstration right now.” He reached out with his hand and hook when the sight of Emma’s chest in her dress caught his eyes. He couldn’t stop staring. “Bloody hell, your chest has bewitched me, luv, it’s calling out to me … to touch it, to sink my face into your breasts, to—” 

Emma took two rapid steps back when it looked like he was about to delve deeper into his fantasy. “I have to go,” she said as she turned around to flee and get drunk somewhere in peace. And try to avoid Snow’s “ _I told you so”_ for as long as she possibly could. 

“Did I say something wrong, luv?” Hook ran after her but Emma didn’t stop, so he reached out and grabbed her arm. “Wait, Swan … you haven’t even kissed me good-night yet.” 

Emma whirled around and threw of his hand. “You want a good-night kiss?” she asked incredulously. 

Hook grinned, cocky as ever. “Isn’t that the traditional ending to a date in this world?” he asked. “I think it’s the least you could do after I sent you those nice letters. I think I deserve a kiss or two, if not more.” 

Emma saw red. “Here’s what you deserve, you jerk,” she said as she pushed forward with both arms from her shoulders, powered by a fight stance and her thigh muscles, and shoved him backwards. Hook flailed with his arms but couldn't stop his backwards momentum as he stumbled straight over the edge of the boardwalk and into the harbor. “And as for the letters,” she called out, even though Hook was still under water. “I don’t know who wrote them, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t _you_.” 

Hook came up, spitting out water and trying to get his hair out of his face with his hook, only to hit himself in the face with the fish he had inadvertently speared on it. “Swan, wait … help me out of here. This leather’s heavy when it’s soaking wet.” 

“Go to hell,” Emma muttered, walking away quickly. "You needed a bath anyway." 

“Swaaan!” 

**o-o-o**

Ruby tore her eyes away from the scene when her hearing picked up a low, dangerous growl from where Regina was standing. She looked over and gasped when she made out the form of the other woman barely hidden by the tree anymore. Regina had stepped out of her hiding spot and looked like she was about two milliseconds away from blasting Hook when the pirate grabbed Emma and stopped her from leaving. 

Ruby’s eyes widened when she saw the magic crackling along Regina’s arms, hands curled into tight fists. Regina took another step away from the shadows, and Ruby didn’t know whether to stop her or cheer her on. Just as she was leaning more towards the cheering, Ruby heard a splash and Hook’s loud complaints. Pissed that she had missed whatever had happened between Emma and Hook, she took a quick step towards Regina to have a word with her. 

Her jaw dropped. Regina’s whole body relaxed in reaction to whatever had happened, and a smile broke out on her face. 

It was the most beautiful thing Ruby had seen in a long, long time, and there was only one thought running through her mind. 

_If Emma isn’t smart enough to tap that, I will._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emma has a surprise encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters.

Emma walked away from the docks as quickly as she could, seething inside. How on earth could she have been so stupid? How could she have believed even for a second that Hook was capable of writing something as beautiful as those letters? Why had she _wanted_ to believe it? She was so lost in thought that she never realized she was being watched by two sets of eyes. 

Ruby was torn between laughing at Hook, watching Emma storm off, and checking what Regina was doing. When Emma stormed around a corner, Ruby watched Regina take a few steps further away from the tree she had been hiding behind. Regina’s eyes were fixed on the dock from where splashing and faint cursing could be heard. _What is she doing?_

For a moment Ruby wondered if Regina was going to head over to Hook to finish him off once and for all, but then Regina smiled and vanished in her signature plume of smoke. “And there’s that killer smile again,”Ruby muttered to herself with an approving nod at Regina’s restraint and walked back to the diner with a small smile. 

Regina fought with herself for only a second before she took an educated guess on where Emma was headed, then transported herself a little farther ahead only to turn around and start strolling casually towards the other woman. She kept her eyes on Emma who wasn’t paying much attention to her surroundings as she seemed to be talking to herself under her breath. 

When it looked like Emma would crash right into her, Regina held out a gentle arm to stop a possibly painful collision. 

“Wha— oh, sorry,” Emma mumbled without looking up. 

“Good evening, Ms. Swan,” Regina said, unable to keep the smile from her voice. 

When Emma heard that familiar voice, her eyes widened. “Oh, Regina, I didn’t see you there, I’m sorry …” Her brow furrowed. “One more thing you’re going to be mad about, I guess,” she added with a frustrated sigh. “Just another thing you won’t let me apologize for.” 

Regina recoiled a little at the resigned bitterness in Emma’s tone but she kept her hand on the other woman’s arm, and the smile on her face. “You’re wrong,” she said, her voice gentle. 

Emma stared at her. “And what exactly am I wrong about _this_ time?” she asked. “That you’re mad at me or that I need to apologize?” 

“Yes,” Regina replied simply. Emma was rather adorable when she was confused and frustrated. 

Emma shook her head. “I don’t understand,” she whispered. “Then why haven’t you talked to me?” 

“Because I was hurt,” Regina explained, “and you refused to think about what I was actually hurt about. You thought that if you just said sorry enough I would forgive you and all would be fine … when in the same breath you were yelling at me that you were doing the right thing.” 

“I’m sorry,” Emma sighed. 

“Stop saying that,” Regina barked, rolling her eyes. “The words are beginning to lose all meaning.” 

Emma took a deep breath and counted to ten. And another, counting to twenty. “Regina, I’ve had a really shitty night,” she finally said, sounding weary. “I’m not in the mood for one of your mind games. Why don’t you tell me what you want from me, so I can do it or ignore it or, I don’t know, get even _more_ frustrated about it? At least then I can go home and get drunk in peace.” 

Regina’s face softened. “I have another suggestion: how about you walk me home and I offer you a glass of the best apple cider you’ve ever tasted?” she offered. “Maybe it’s time we talked.” 

Emma studied Regina for close to a minute — searching for some hidden agenda in her expression no doubt, Regina assumed — before nodding once, shoulders visibly relaxing. “That would be nice.” 

**o-o-o**

Snow grabbed her phone as quickly as she could in order to keep Baby Neal from waking up, so she didn’t check caller ID. “Hello?” 

“Hey, Snow,” Ruby said, voice cheerful and almost overly casual. 

Snow frowned. “Hey, Ruby,” she replied, a little hesitant. Ruby hardly ever called, she just dropped by. “What can I do for you?” 

“You could open the door and let me in,” Ruby replied. 

Snow pulled the door open with a grin. “Why didn’t you just knock?” 

“I wanted to make sure you were home first,” Ruby said into the side of Snow’s head as she hugged her. 

“I have a fairly new baby, Ruby,” Snow laughed. “Where else would I be but home?” She closed the door and led Ruby into the kitchen. 

“Where’s David?” Ruby looked around the loft. 

“He’s working tonight, and Henry just went over to the station to keep him company,” Snow explained. “I think he got tired of Neal’s screaming.” 

Ruby chuckled but wisely kept her thoughts to herself. _Can’t blame him._

“So, want to tell me what’s going on?” Snow asked, curiosity burning bright in her eyes. “Shouldn’t you be working?” 

Ruby made a dismissive gesture before she grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down at the breakfast bar. She tried to hold back, but the things she had seen had her wiggling in her seat in her eagerness to share them. “I wanted to ask you … I saw something tonight and … I’m not sure what to make of it …” 

“Get to the point, Ruby,” Snow prodded tiredly. “I’m working on very little sleep and my patience isn’t what it used to be.” 

“Okay, first off: what’s going on with Emma and Hook? Are they on again?” Ruby blurted. “And second; what does Regina have to do with it?” 

Snow perked up immediately at the question. “You saw Emma’s date with Hook?” Her nose crinkled a little. “And Regina was there?” Now _this_ was exciting news as it confirmed her suspicions. Her tiredness was gone in an instant. “Tell me exactly what you saw. Don’t leave out any details.” 

**o-o-o**

Regina and Emma walked to the mansion in almost complete silence but it was a surprisingly comfortable one. Both women were lost in their own thoughts and barely even noticed when the white mansion suddenly loomed in front of them. Regina opened the door and led them inside, heading straight for her study. She poured two glasses of cider, then turned around to Emma who was lingering in the doorway. 

“I’m confused.” Emma was the first to break the silence after meeting Regina in the middle of the room and taking the offered alcohol. 

Regina knew the value of patience, so she simply nodded and sat down on the sofa. She was surprised when Emma sat down next to her instead of in the armchair a few feet away. 

“You spend weeks avoiding me,” Emma continued quietly. “Refusing to talk to me, to even let me apologize, and now you invite me into you house?” She shook her head. “The same house you kicked me out of that day? And then you ignored me for fucking _weeks_ , Regina!” She tried to keep the hurt from her voice but Regina heard it loud and clear. 

Regina exhaled slowly. “I kicked you out — as you call it — because you just kept on repeating the same old empty platitudes,” she explained softly. “The same old things that you called an apology but which weren’t, not really.” 

“But I _was_ sorry … _am_ sorry,” Emma interrupted. 

“Emma, you came here day after day _telling_ me you were sorry,” Regina continued. “While at the same time you said you were just doing the right thing, which negated the apology, _showing_ me you weren’t really all that sorry.” Regina played with the ring on her finger. “You never came here because you were sorry for what you did, Emma. You came to me because you needed me to not be mad at you so your world was all right again. I wasn’t willing to give you that. Not when you …” She trailed off and stared into the cold fireplace. 

“When I what?” 

Regina stood to refill her glass. “Not when you didn’t even waste a single thought on _why_ I was hurt,” she finally said, her back still to Emma. When she turned around, she was surprised to see Emma was standing only inches away _— Emma with her perfect hair and her green eyes and that beautiful dress —_ their faces now almost close enough to touch. Regina swallowed hard, utterly unprepared for this kind of closeness but there was nowhere for her to go. 

Emma saw the way Regina’s eyes roamed across her face, moving from eyes to lips, before looking around the room with an almost panicked expression. She took a step back to give Regina room to breathe, to flee, but filed her reaction away for later, just like the slightly breathless feeling she herself was experiencing just now. _Why the hell did Regina have to be so damn attractive? And smell this good?_

_What were they even talking about? Oh, right._ “You were hurt because I ruined your relationship with Robin by bringing Marian back from the past,” Emma said dutifully. “Just like my mother ruined your life before me.” She watched Regina’s eyes drop. “Weren’t you?” 

Regina moved away from Emma, away from temptation, not trusting herself not to do something reckless and stupid. She shook her head at Emma’s simple explanation. _Maybe it’s time I clear this up so we can move on._ “I _was_ a little hurt that the possibility of finding love with Robin was taken from me, and by a member of the White family no less, but what hurt me _far_ more was the fact that I felt betrayed.” Regina looked up again but Emma didn’t meet her eyes. “I _trusted_ you, Emma, and I hadn’t trusted anyone in so long … and then, once more, I had to learn that I should never trust anyone. That once again a member of your family did what they thought was right without sparing one second to think about possible consequences. Meddling with time travel, influencing who knows how many events by your presence alone. And yes, bringing back someone who was dead.” 

Emma swallowed audibly. “I know you probably don’t want to hear it,” she said in a rush, “but I _really_ am so sorry about all of that. I never wanted to hurt you, and I value your trust so much because I know how hard it is for people like us to trust others. There’s nothing more that I wish for than to be that person for you … We were friends, Regina, or at least on the way, and I’m going to spend however long I need to gain back your trust.” She took a few steps closer to Regina. “I want to work on being your friend again … if you let me.” 

_Friends_ . Regina tried not to wince at the word. She wanted so much more than friendship but she couldn’t very well say that to Emma now, could she? Not if all Emma wanted from her was friendship. _She’ll never believe me if I tell her I’m in love with her … and worse than that, it’s probably going to chase her straight into the pirate’s arms._

“Emma,” she murmured, knowing there was one more thing she needed to say … at least one thing she _could_ say. “I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past few weeks, which was one of the reasons why I kept to myself mostly.” She breathed deeply. “And I realized that I’ve always known that you did the only thing you could do without betraying yourself. And I have long since forgiven you for that.” 

“You have?” Emma asked, sounding both confused and happy. _Adorable_ , Regina thought again. Then Emma’s face scrunched up. “Wait a second, what did you mean you were hurt by losing _the possibility of finding love with Robin_?” If Regina hadn’t loved Robin … then maybe not all was lost. Then maybe she didn’t have to try so hard to fall in love with Hook. “I thought he was your once in a lifetime chance at a happy ending? Your soulmate?” 

Regina watched Emma’s facial expressions with interest, being able to read far more than the Savior probably wanted her to see. With hope burning a little brighter in her chest again, she tried to come up with a good answer. She felt like she was walking a tightrope. “Fairy dust proclaimed that Robin was destined to be my soulmate many, many years ago … when I was very young still, and almost innocent ... long before you were born,” she whispered, wincing a little at the last bit because to her ears it revealed so much more than she wanted to disclose at the moment. “But soulmates can be many different things, and while I like Robin and enjoyed his attentions, I wasn’t in love with him. He provided me with a good distraction, though.” 

Emma's ears twitched at Regina's words, at the ones said, and the ones she imagined she could hear whispered between the lines. When it had all sunk in, the skin around Emma's eyes tightened as she wished Regina would stop being so damn cryptic. 

With her heart beating in her ears, Emma leaned forward. “Distraction from what?” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emma and Regina are idiots, Ruby tries to be sneaky, and Hook has the worst timing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters, sadly.
> 
> A/N: Thank you all for the support for this story. :)

The next morning found Regina and Emma walking to Granny’s together for breakfast. Emma had spent the night in the guest bedroom after drinking a little too much in an attempt to forget her disastrous date with Hook and the frustration of not being able to get Regina to reveal what — or _who_ — exactly she needed a distraction from. Regina had insisted she stay, and Emma hadn’t really resisted all that much. She had simply accepted a pair of silk pajamas that she had definitely _not_ buried her face in to see if she could catch more of Regina’s wonderful scent — and she had absolutely _not_ been disappointed when she couldn’t. 

Emma hadn’t gotten much sleep, her thoughts running over her date with Hook, the letters, and what Regina might have meant. She had almost gone to wake Regina and demand an answer but then she realized the time and had sunk back into her pillow with a huff. She had wished she had the letters with her, so she could read them. Listening to Regina’s voice in her head when she had read them the past few nights had been both calming and strangely invigorating. 

Had Emma actually gone to Regina’s room, she would have noticed that her host had trouble sleeping as well because she was busy beating herself up for _saying too much_ or _too little_ or _entirely the wrong thing_ — her mind was rotating evenly between all the options. 

One thing was certain: Emma Swan was driving her crazy. 

Jaws dropped inside Granny’s when the two women walked through the door but they were both too tired and lost in their own thoughts to notice. They picked a booth by the window and studied the menu, although both of them knew it by heart and ordered the same thing for breakfast almost every time anyway. 

"Good morning, ladies," Ruby greeted them with a suspiciously wide smile that seemed to suggest that she knew something everyone else didn't. "The usual, Emma? Or are you in the mood for something _unexpected_ this morning? How about you, Regina? Any _hidden desires_ you'd like to go after this morning?" 

The look Regina gave Ruby was withering, while Emma watched her with an expression that was part suspicion, part confusion. "A short stack of pancakes and coffee, Rubes,” she said slowly. 

Ruby sighed. "You should really consider _other options_ sometimes, Emma. _Diversity_ is important, you know.” 

Emma had a feeling she was only getting part of the conversation, despite being an active participant. “What's up with you today, Rubes?” 

“Just making conversation," Ruby replied innocently. “Just trying to make you see that sometimes there are other options right in front of you … on the menu, I mean.” she added casually. “All part of the service.” 

Regina gave her a pointed look as she closed the menu. "Coffee, please," she said firmly. "And I think I'll have an omelet and a fruit cup. Any _hidden desires_ I might have will be revealed in their own time, Miss Lucas.” 

There was a clear warning in Regina’s voice and Ruby recognized it well. She gave a mock salute as she turned and walked away, knowing she could look forward to a nice chat with Regina sometime soon. _Good — she had to talk to her anyway._

“Any idea what that was all about?” Emma asked, still looking a little dazed. 

_I hope it’s not what I suspect it is,_ Regina thought. “No idea,” was what she said out loud. _Time to change the subject._ “How are you feeling this morning, Ms. Swan?” 

“Really? Back to that so soon?” Emma raised an eyebrow with a grin, just like Regina had wanted. “I’m fine, thanks. The bed in your guest room is insanely comfortable.” 

“I’m glad.” _It’s a mere cot compared to_ my _bed._ Regina watched as Ruby brought their coffees, and she gave her another glare for good measure. She wondered what Ruby’s game was. 

Emma apparently was still thinking about her night in a comfortable bed, judging from the faraway look on her face as she stared out the window onto Main Street. _“When we are together we’ll be sleeping on the wings of angels, covered by our love,”_ she suddenly whispered, seemingly to herself. 

Unseen by Emma, Regina’s jaw dropped at the words. “What did you just say?” 

“Oh,” Emma said, turning her head to look at Regina who barely managed to put her neutral mask back on. “Just something I read the other day.” 

“Interesting.” Regina hid her face behind her coffee cup. “May I ask where you read that?” 

“Oh, er …” Emma’s cheeks reddened a little. “I-it was just something … it was from a letter I got,” Emma replied. 

“Oh yes?” 

“Yeah.” Emma smiled. “It was a beautiful letter.” 

Regina couldn’t help herself. “You liked it?” 

“ _Them_ … there were several,” Emma grinned. “And yes, I loved them. I’m just not used to getting any letters at all.” 

The look on Emma’s face made the corners of Regina’s mouth curl up. “And who were those marvelous letters from?” 

Emma’s brow furrowed. “They were _signed_ by Hook … at least the first one was.” Now that Emma thought about it she realized it was strange that all the other letters had only ended in variations of _Yours forever_ with no name. 

“He can write?” Regina couldn’t let the opportunity go. 

“Maybe,” Emma hedged. “I’m not sure. I don’t know.” 

“Maybe?” _Now that was a strange answer. “_ What do you mean?” 

“I _really_ don’t know. … The letters were amazing, romantic, and sometimes even incredibly sexy … they made me feel wanted but also …,” Emma searched for the right word to express her feelings. “They made me feel understood and _valued_ … But when I talked to Hook last night, he was being his usual narcissistic self, not interested in anything but talking about how good he was in bed.“ Emma crumpled her napkin in her hand. “He says he loves me but all I get from how he acts is that … he _wants_ me, and wants me to want him.” Her eyes widened when she realized everything she had said and in whose presence she had said it. “Sorry about dumping all of that on you. It’s not like you care …” _Please say you care._

Regina ignored the apology and went straight for what mattered. “So you _don’t_ think he wrote the letters?” 

Emma shrugged one shoulder. “I _wanted_ to believe it, I really did … but no.” The fist around the napkin tightened until a warm hand covered it softly. 

Regina tried hard not to get lost in the feeling of Emma’s skin under her own and where else she would like to touch her one day. “Why did you want to believe it so hard?” she asked, genuinely interested. _And why don’t you want to believe it now?_

Emma’s hand relaxed completely under the tender motion of Regina’s thumb on the back of her fingers, and she had to fight herself to not turn her hand and lace her fingers through Regina’s and not let go. It felt so good, and she didn’t want the feeling to end. “I think it’s because … well, he’s been pretty persistent and feeling wanted like that felt good for a while … and he’s turned his life around for me.” 

_Not as much as he would like to make you think,_ Regina thought angrily. 

“He even gave up being a pirate … and I kinda think it’s what’s expected of me. Isn’t it? I mean shouldn’t I …” 

Emma shrugged once more as she trailed off, looking so unsure of herself that Regina’s heart clenched in her chest. The woman sitting across from her? That wasn’t Emma Swan, the Savior. This was a woman who didn’t expect anything good from life. This was a woman who wasn’t used to anyone caring about her, about what she thought, about what she wanted. Emma wasn’t used to being someone who _mattered_. 

Regina asked the only thing she needed to know. “Do you _want_ to be with him?” 

Emma was quiet for a long moment. “I like him … but I want him to be the Hook who wrote those letters, not the one who I had to toss into the harbor last night – at least some of the time,” she finally admitted. Her heart corrected her immediately. _I’ve fallen in love with the person who wrote those letters, and I don’t think it was Hook. I hope it was you._

Regina considered her next words carefully. “Maybe he _really_ didn’t write them,” she said softly, hesitantly. “He doesn’t seem like someone who would write about … what was it … _feathers of angels_?” 

“Wings of angels,” Emma corrected softly. 

Regina stilled her hand on Emma’s as she took a deep breath. “Maybe there’s somebody else on town who has feelings for you. Maybe that someone wrote the letters and signed them with a different name because they were scared.” It came out more like a question, more uncertain and more stilted than Regina wanted it to sound. “Maybe they think you could never want them the way they want you but they still wanted to let you know you were loved and wanted by someone other than that pirate.” 

Emma’s eyes shot to Regina’s, bright with intrigue and something that might have been hope. “Who?” 

Before Regina could figure out if she wanted to answer that, Ruby delivered their breakfast, causing Regina to withdraw her hand as if burned and effectively destroying the moment. 

Emma ignored her pancakes, still mulling over the question Regina hadn’t answered. “Are you going to say anything at all?” 

Regina looked up from her perfect omelet, looking startled. She stalled for time, suddenly even more nervous. “What are you talking about?” 

“I asked you if you had any idea who else might be writing those letters if not Hook,” Emma pointed out. 

_Here’s your chance,_ Regina told herself, trying to instill some courage in herself. _But is Emma ready to hear it? Is this the right time?_ She cleared her throat. “I … Well …” _Ugh, writing was so much easier than speaking._

Emma saw how unsettled Regina was becoming – and hoped. Why would Regina be so uncharacteristically flustered about those love letters? Could they really be from her? Unable to take it any longer, Emma decided to buck up and just ask. “Because … you know … Regina, I thought maybe … I was kinda hoping it wa—“ 

“Well hello, ladies,” a voice interrupted Emma who barely managed to stifle a groan. “This certainly looks cozy.” Hook’s voice was rife with suspicion. 

Regina’s jaw shut tightly, biting back a sharp retort as Emma closed her eyes in dismay. It looked like she wasn’t going to get an answer anytime soon. With a snarl, she looked at the unwelcome intruder. “What do you want?” 

Hook raised his hand in surrender at her tone. “Just came in for some grub, luv,” he said with a wide smile. “Seeing you is just a beautiful bonus. You look exceptionally lovely this morning, Swan,” he continued with a slight leer. “Although this looks like the same dress you wore last night for our date. A date that you ended rather abruptly.” 

Emma winced at the memory. She really wasn’t in the mood to apologize to him for feeling the need to cool his ardor. 

Hook’s eyes went from Emma to Regina and it was clear that he was trying to put things together. “I can see you finally managed to come to some sort of peace,” he stated, although it sounded a lot like a question. 

“Something like that,” Regina replied curtly. “Although I find it difficult to understand how that is any of your business.” 

Hook smirked. “Well, for one it means that Emma might once more be invested in her own happiness rather than your forgiveness,” he explained. “Which means she might be in a better mood from now on, which can only be to the benefit of all of us.” He looked at Emma who refused to make eye contact. “So, since it’s such a beautiful day outside … could I persuade you to go on a walk on the beach with me, Emma?” At her outraged look he held up his hands in surrender. “Don’t worry, not a date this time. Just … allow me the opportunity to apologize for whatever I did last night to make you angry …” 

Regina ground her teeth as she had to bite her tongue unless she said something she really had no place saying. As long as Emma still thought there was a chance Hook would turn out to be the man she wanted him to be, she really had no right to say anything. _Yeah, that has nothing to do with you being positively terrified,_ her mind snorted in disgust. Regina’s stomach clenched at the look on Hook’s face, but it was only getting worse when Emma hesitantly nodded yes. 

Emma turned to Regina. “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I should really give him one last chance to explain why he was such a dick,” she said as she got up. _I should, shouldn’t I?_ “I can always toss him in the ocean again,” she tried to ease the tension but Regina refused to meet her eyes. “Hey, you okay?” 

“I’m fine, Ms. Swan,” Regina bit out. “Go, your handless wonder awaits.” 

Emma looked startled by the touch of venom in Regina’s voice, and even a little hurt, but one look at the other woman’s face told her that the conversation was over. Hook waited until Emma was by the door, then walked back the few steps to Regina’s side and leaned close with a smirk. 

“Your _services_ are no longer needed, Your Majesty.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ruby and Regina have a conversation, and Emma has her suspicions confirmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not my characters. Still playing with them nonetheless. They're happier with us.
> 
> A/N: Getting closer to the end ... maybe another two or three chapters.

Ruby watched Emma leave with Hook with a huge frown on her face. Seriously, what was wrong with Emma that she couldn't see what was right in front of her? 

She turned to Regina whose eyes were following Emma down the street, her face a mask. It didn't matter that Emma had disappeared from view several seconds ago — Ruby just knew that Regina was still watching, even if only in her mind's eye. She strolled over to Regina's booth, coffee pot in one hand — as handy an excuse as any, she figured — and dropped down into the seat Emma had just vacated, her breakfast mostly untouched. 

“Did Emma not like her pancakes?" she asked in a conversational tone. 

Regina gave her a look. "Don't play coy, Miss Lucas," she said evenly. "It doesn't suit you. Either say what you’ve come here to say or stop bothering me.” 

Ruby nodded once, not really offended by Regina’s tone. “Fine with me," she shrugged. "Want to tell me what happened? Why did Emma leave with that … with Hook instead of having breakfast with you? You looked pretty comfortable together before he arrived.” 

Regina mustered Ruby for a long moment. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Miss Lucas,” she finally dismissed the younger woman. 

Ruby rolled her eyes. “Okay, first off, just call me Ruby for crying in the night,” she huffed. “And second …” She hesitated. 

“Second?” Regina asked, eyebrow raised. “Not that I’m all that interested,” she added hastily. 

“Of course not,” Ruby snorted. “And second … I _know_.” 

When she didn’t continue, it was Regina’s turn to roll her eyes. “Know what, Miss Lucas?” she hissed. 

“I know about your feelings for Emma,” Ruby revealed quietly, but intently, leaning across the table. 

Regina sat back in her seat with an air of supreme casualness. “Was that what your ill-placed innuendos were about earlier?” she asked, mild disinterest in her voice. “That you think you know something? I’m afraid you’re barking up the completely wrong tree. That handless pirate is the one with feelings for Emma, or so I’m told.” 

“Regina,” Ruby sighed the name. “I was there last night, at the dock. I saw the way you watched that date, if you could call it that. I saw the way you looked at her last night, and the way you looked at her this morning.” She gave Regina a smile. “Dammit, I’m not here to confront you or anything … I want to help if I can.” 

Regina looked startled and for a second she forgot her denial. “Why would you help me … if I had feelings for Em— _Ms. Swan_ , that is?” 

“Because I’m pretty sure Emma looks at you the same way when you’re not looking,” Ruby pointed out. “I just think she has no idea what she’s feeling. I think she’s confused and needs a shove in the right direction.” 

The conversation was getting to be too much for Regina. _It couldn’t be, nobody could know she loved Emma. How blatantly obvious had she been? Had Hook known? His parting words ran through her head once again. Had she been played? Had she helped drive Emma into his arms just like he wanted after all? But what if Ruby was right? If Emma really … but no, Emma couldn’t share her feelings, could she?_

Regina needed to think, needed to get out of the diner, needed to be alone. She pulled out a twenty and put it on the table as she scrambled out of the booth with far less grace than Ruby had ever seen. “I have to go,” she mumbled. “Keep the change.” 

Then she ran out with quick, long steps, her heels beating a loud staccato. 

_Too much, too much, too much, idiot,_ Ruby thought with a sigh. She shared one look with Granny who had watched Regina’s exit with hooded eyes from behind the counter. They had a short silent conversation across the room, then Granny nodded and pointed at the door. Ruby dropped the coffee pot off at the counter, then ran out after Regina. She had to fix this. 

**o-o-o**

Emma fumed. And that was putting it mildly. 

In reality, she had trouble even finding words for the mix of emotions coursing through her body. At first Hook had been silent, walking beside her, only trying to grab her hand once or twice. Each time Emma had managed to avoid it by taking a quick step away from him. Hook had huffed in frustration, but hadn't mentioned it. 

When they had gotten to the beach, however, Emma had had enough of the sulking, silent presence by her side. "So," she had started, slowing her brisk walk to more of a stroll. "You wanted to explain your behavior last night ..." 

Hook had tried to pull her into his arms but a few quick steps got Emma out of his reach again. And that's where they were now. "Can't you talk without always trying to grab me?" Emma asked, both baffled and disgusted by his continued inability to listen or even read her body language correctly. 

"What's wrong with a little touching?" 

"You mean apart from the fact that I clearly don't want it right now?" she demanded in return. 

"See," Hook had said, "you're saying you don't want it ... but I've known women far longer than you've been one, lass, and I think you’re just being coy because you’re mad at me for some reason." 

"Are you even listening to yourself right now?" 

Hook took another step toward her. "Emma," he cooed. "Why do you keep fighting this attraction between us? This chemistry?" 

“What chemistry? We have no chemistry!" Emma exclaimed loudly. "There's only you trying to grab me all the damn time! You still haven’t learned that I only like to be touched when _I_ say it's okay! It can't be _that_ hard to understand that." 

Hook looked peeved. "You didn't seem to mind when Regina touched you back at the diner," he pointed out resentfully. 

Emma stopped and stared, surprised that he'd even noticed. How long had he been watching the two of them? "That was … She was only ... I was ... we're _friends_ , Hook," she stammered. 

There was a curious look on Hook's face. "Are you sure?” 

“Of course I’m sure,” Emma retorted. “We’re friends or at least I hope we’re getting there again. We just barely managed to talk for the first time in weeks.” 

“You and the Evil Queen looked downright cozy,” he said through gritted teeth. 

Emma stared at him. “You said that before, and with that same kind of undertone,” she realized. “Is there anything you want to say?” 

Hook hesitated for a while, then shook his head. 

“All right,” Emma sight. “Then why don’t you tell me why you lied about writing those letters?” 

“Who said I lied?” Hook asked defensively. _If Regina had ratted him out, she’d regret it._

“Nobody had to,” Emma replied. “It was pretty damn obvious last night that you had nothing in common with whoever wrote them.” 

“Every single one of those letters is mine,” Hook lied. “I might have gotten some help writing them but I told … the person what to write.” He almost admitted to having asked Regina for help but he was beginning to suspect the former Evil Queen might have had her own motive for helping him, and he was not about to make it any easier for her by telling Emma that the words she had loved so much had been Regina’s. 

“So you dictated the letters to the person who wrote them?” Emma asked slowly, doubtfully, having read the lie on his face and in the way his eyes shifted to the left and down. She wondered how long he would try to keep this lie going. 

Hook nodded. “Aye, at least more or less.” 

“So … not word for word perhaps … but everything in them _were_ your words and feelings?” Emma was patiently laying her trap. 

Hook thought about that. Even if he suspected that Regina might not have helped him to actually _help_ him, she still got him a date, so the content of the letters was probably safe. “Aye, absolutely,” he lied. Again. 

Emma could tell. Again. “They were so wonderful, you know,” she said softly, purposely gentling her voice. “You know which one I liked the most?” 

Hook shook his head with a smile. He almost had her, he could feel it, and now he would also hear what Regina had written in his name. 

“I loved the one where you quoted that famous line … the one where you compared me to a summer’s day,” Emma continued dreamily. "Although I'm not all that temperate most of the time. But it was sweet." She gave Hook a sugary, entirely false smile. “Where was that from again?” 

Hook clearly had no idea. “Er … I …” 

_Gotcha_ . But Emma simply continued. “Oh, yes … now I remember. It was from the Beatles, wasn’t it? I didn’t even know you knew the Beatles,” Emma continued in an awed voice. If the letters were indeed his words, his ideas, his sentiments … well, then he should know better. 

He didn’t. 

“Beetles?” Hook mouthed when Emma looked away from him to watch the waves roll onto the beach in an almost lazy fashion. 

“Hmm, where did you even hear that song? Which one was it again?” she mused aloud still looking out to sea, only watching Hook’s squirming from the corner of her eyes. She enjoyed playing with him because he deserved it. “ _With a Little Help from My Friends_? No, no, it was _She Loves Me_ , wasn’t it?” 

Hook nodded helplessly, completely lost. What had Regina done to his letters? How had insects and shanties made it in there? “I can't quite remember,” he said weakly. 

Emma whirled around to face him. “You’re a fucking liar, Hook,” she growled. “None of the letters simply quote someone else’s well-known words, not the Beatles and not even Shakespeare. They were all original and beautiful.” She pushed a finger into his chest. “But you don’t even know who the Beatles or Shakespeare are, right?” 

Hook shrugged and attempted a winning smile. “I don’t believe I've been introduced to this Shakespeare, no.” He wasn’t going to mention the insects. 

“Listen to me, Hook,” Emma said in a low tone. “And listen to me good. You will leave me alone, you will not contact me or Henry, you will not speak to me. Is that clear?” 

“But Emma—“ 

“Is. That. Clear?” 

Hook tried again. “Emma, you misjudge me,” he said intently. “Yes, I got some help with those letters. And no I wasn’t standing over the writer’s shoulders the whole time, but they were my idea and the sentiments are true.” 

Emma laughed. “You have no idea what was in those letters,” she pointed out. “So how can you say the sentiments were true?” She shook her head. “I mean it, Hook — whatever you think this ... thing between us is ... _was_ , it’s over.” 

Hook saw the seriousness on Emma’s face. “Then I might as well leave this port behind me and head out to sea again,” he hissed, hoping the threat of him leaving would change her mind. “And I won’t be coming back.” 

“Fine,” Emma shrugged. “If that’s what you think you need to do. I can’t and won’t make you leave town, but I’m also not going to hold you here.” She paused, running a hand through her hair with a sigh. “You know, the sad thing is that I think we could have been friends if you could have just gotten over your ego and your obsession and could have just listened when I said no.” 

“I love you,” Hook said. “I could never accept a no as long as I saw a chance with you.” 

“And that’s why this was never going to work.” 

“But you did like my letters,” Hook reminded her, forgetting the slight fact that they weren't his. "You just want them to be from someone else." He paused when his words filled the space between them, settling down in their brains. Hook’s look turned calculating. "Why is that, Emma? Why are you looking for reasons that the letters are not mine?” 

“Because you didn’t write them,” Emma insisted. “And yes, I did like them, so why don’t you tell me who wrote them, so I can thank them for some really nice letters? Or are you going to stand here and pretend you don't know?" 

Hook saw the look in Emma’s eyes and knew if she found out that the letters were Regina’s, he really wouldn’t stand a chance in hell of winning Emma over. Ever. Because he had the horrible suspicion that Emma would be quite happy about that development, and the last thing Hook wanted to do was pave the way for some great romance for the Evil Queen. He sneered at Emma. "Who do you want them to be from, hm?" he asked. "You almost sound as if you have someone specific in mind.” 

“Even if I did, that’s none of your business, Hook," Emma replied but Hook could read the answer on her face. "Who wrote the letters, Hook?” 

Hook had as much intention of telling Emma as he had of actually leaving Storybrooke or giving up his pursuit of her, so he just tilted his head with a grin before turning to leave. "Sorry, luv, can't help you there,” he called out over his shoulder. 

“Can’t or won’t?” Emma yelled after him but Hook just kept walking away from her. “Thanks for nothing,” Emma muttered into the wind before heading back to town. 

She felt the sudden need to talk to her mother. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ruby and Regina have a talk, and Ruby has a harebrained idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: see Chapter 1.
> 
> A/N: Sometimes chapters surprise you even if you've planned them completely differently. This was supposed to have Snow talking to Emma and Regina talking to Ruby, but Ruby and Regina had different ideas. Especially Ruby.
> 
> A/N 2: Another slightly longer chapter, which might have to make up for the lack of one next week since I'm going away for a long weekend and probably won't get any writing done. But we'll see. Thank you all for the love you're giving this story - it makes me happy. :)

Ruby thought Regina would be heading home but when she got onto Main Street, she could just see Regina disappear in the direction of the harbor. She wondered if Regina went there on a chance to watch Emma with Hook again but she didn’t seem to head in their direction either. 

Ruby kept her distance from Regina for now, just watching where she was headed. She wasn’t in any hurry — Granny could deal with the mid-morning crowd by herself — and having the opportunity to think about what she was going to say to Regina was a bonus. 

Frankly, so was being able to watch Regina walk down the street. 

Ruby smiled to herself. Even when Regina was upset, she still had a confident swagger that took her down the street at a quick yet comfortable-looking pace that had people in her way making room for her without her ever looking at them. Ruby suspected there was a lot of lingering fear in that behavior, and she shook her head and scowled at the same people when she passed them. “Morons,” she muttered to herself. 

Regina slowed down when she came to Storybrooke’s little harbor with its handful of mostly small boats used for sailing or fishing. Ruby watched as Regina stopped at a pair of benches and ran one hand over one of them. Ruby moved a little closer to see Regina’s face and was surprisingly unsurprised at the wistful look the other woman wore. Something seemed to draw her to this place after her breakfast with Emma, and Ruby would bet her red cloak on the benches having some history. 

Regina sat down on the far right side of the left bench, her eyes roving this way and that — anywhere but in the direction of the beach where Hook and Emma were supposedly taking their walk. 

Ruby girded her mental loins and walked up to join Regina. 

Regina had been wondering when Ruby would approach her, seeing as the other woman was ridiculously bad at tailing someone inconspicuously. She valiantly tried not to flinch when Ruby dropped her long body onto the bench only inches away from her. She was a little like an overgrown puppy sometimes, and in situations like these Regina liked to imagine Ruby as a curious wolf pup like the one she had raised when she was still living back in the Enchanted Forest. The black wolf cub had been the main reason why hunting wolves and werewolves had been outlawed in her kingdom from the moment she had come to rule, but of course that was something nobody remembered, just like all the other good things she had done or tried to do. 

Ruby stretched her legs and rested her arms behind her head and allowed herself a long sigh. Regina smiled at the movement beside her, almost expecting to see tight blue jeans and a red leather jacket instead of the short skirt and black blouse Ruby was wearing. They were both puppies, Regina decided as she waited for Ruby to say something. 

Ruby sucked at the waiting game but she also wasn’t looking forward to having her head handed to her on a platter, so it took her a little while to open her mouth. 

“The ocean is soothing, isn’t it?” was what came out of her mouth after a minute of thinking. “I mean … not as soothing as the forest for me … never really liked getting wet …” 

At that, Regina turned to her with the sexiest smirk Ruby had ever seen. “That’s not what I've heard, dear.” 

Ruby choked on her words and coughed. “Not what I meant, Regina … damn,” she wheezed. “So not what—“ 

“What is it that you followed me here for, Miss Lucas?” Regina asked. “And please don’t insult me by claiming you were in the vicinity or just taking a walk. You seem to have developed a habit of following me, and I’d like to know the reason why.” 

“You know why I’m here,” Ruby insisted. “I couldn’t just let you run out like that … not when you were upset.” 

Regina studied Ruby’s face for long moments. “You really do care, don’t you?” she finally asked. 

“I do,” Ruby confirmed. “I know that you’re not used to having friends, but I think it’s time to change that.” 

Regina didn’t say anything, but she also didn’t run, so Ruby took that as permission to stay and keep talking. “Like I said before,” she started gently, “I know that you have feelings for Emma.” 

“You know nothing, Ruby Lucas,” Regina replied but there was a playful glint in her eyes. 

“If you say so, _Ygritte_ ,” Ruby snorted. 

Regina smiled and nodded — showing Ruby she got the reference — then turned serious. "What if I did?” 

"Have feelings for Emma?" That was more confirmation than Ruby had expected. “Then you should let her know,” she suggested. "Why don't you ask her out?" 

Regina stared off into the distance, her eyes focused on the small fishing boats far out on the ocean, a small, sad smile on her face. “Before this whole … _disaster_ … with the second curse and Zelena and of course Robin and Marian,” she said so softly that the wind threatened to carry her words away, out towards the waves. “I used to walk around this town at night sometimes and I would see people walking along holding hands or sitting at home looking happy. I looked at them and I thought to myself, _Why shouldn't I have something like that as well?_ ” 

“Why _shouldn't_ you, Regina?” 

She turned to look at Ruby. “Because that thought was always followed by a reminder of the shadow I can’t shake: my past … who I am …” 

“Who you used t—” 

“Who I _am_ ,” Regina insisted. “And who _she_ is, whose daughter she is. And that she’s running around with a one-handed pirate trailing after her …” 

“You should tell her anyway,” Ruby said gently. “Isn’t she worth the risk?” 

Regina remained stubbornly silent, unwilling to reveal even more of her vulnerability to someone she would barely call a friend. _I really don’t know._

“Tell her anyway,” Ruby repeated insistently. “At least then you’d know.” _And maybe you could move on if Emma is stupid enough to say no. I promise to help you get over her, as your friend … or more._

Regina closed her eyes and leaned her head back, resting it against the back of the bench. “I already did,” she said after another long silence, quietly and haltingly. “Well, at least sort of.” 

“You did?” Ruby was surprised. “Then why is Hook still around?” 

Regina blushed. “I might not have told her as _me …_ ” 

Ruby sat up straight. “The letters?” she asked. “The love letters Emma has been getting from Hook …?” 

“I’m afraid so.” 

Ruby whistled. “Then Snow’s hunch was actually right on the money? Wow.” 

Regina’s head whipped around so fast Ruby was actually worried she'd hurt herself. “Snow knows?” she gasped. 

“No, no,” Ruby replied quickly. “She _suspects_ … there’s a difference. She said she only read the first one, and she told me she thought it sounded more like you than Hook … and I guess she sort of had been wondering about your feelings for each other for a while now.” 

“How is it then that Snow hasn’t tried to kill me yet? Or sent her shepherd after me to do the deed?” Regina wondered aloud, speaking more to herself than Ruby. “Why hasn’t she told Emma?” 

“She said she was determined to keep your secret this time,” Ruby explained. “Whatever _that_ means … She also hoped Emma would figure it out by herself, and she’s been gently prodding her along a bit.” Ruby shook her head. “But it looks like Emma is not as in tune with her feelings as Snow thought.” 

“Or she _is_ actually in love with Hook and doesn’t have any of those hidden feelings you and Snow think she might have,” Regina pointed out logically. “Why else would she leave with him this morning?” 

“Why indeed?” Ruby looked towards the beach. Was that Emma walking their way? Alone? “A much better question is: why the hell did you write those letters in Hook’s name?” 

Regina couldn’t help the smirk on her face. “He came to me for help because he wanted to write to Emma but his writing skills are … well, let’s say they’re extremely limited and even he knows it … and I saw an opportunity.” 

Ruby's eyes brightened in understanding, and she let out a small snicker. “You made sure your letters sounded nothing like Hook on purpose, right?” 

“I couldn’t sound like him if I _tried_ , Miss Lucas, and I definitely did not try.” Now Regina actually smiled for the first time since Emma had left their breakfast date. “I, like Snow, had some hope that Emma would figure it out at some point, at least that the letters weren't from Hook. She was definitely expressing some doubt this morning, but —” 

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she _has_ figured it out,” Ruby interrupted with a smile. “At least that Hook was definitely not the one. She dumped him in the harbor, after all, and now …” 

“Now?” 

“She’s coming our way, without Hook. He’s probably fighting off the fishies again …” Ruby put a hand on Regina’s forearm, stopping her from turning around to where Emma was getting closer. “Do you trust me?” 

“Not particularly.” 

Ruby winced at the lack of hesitation in Regina’s reply. “All right … then do you at least believe me when I say that I’m trying to help you?” 

After a second, Regina nodded. “I don’t know why … but I do.” 

“Then please don’t freak out and just follow my lead, okay?” 

“What are you planning, Miss Lucas?” 

“Giving Emma something to think about ... call it an incentive, if you will.” 

“Incentive? What ki—“ That was as far as Regina got before Ruby scooted even closer to her and wrapped her in a tight embrace that drew the breath from her lungs and killed her question. Ruby turned Regina’s head so that from Emma’s perspective it would look like a much more intimate setting than it actually was. 

To Ruby’s surprise it didn’t take too long before Regina’s hands moved hesitantly up her back, the touch so light it was barely noticeable. Ruby tried not to breathe in too deeply, tried to avoid getting lost in the incredible scent of Regina which was unbelievably hard given her wolf senses. She almost bit through her lower lip trying to hold back a moan and tamp down her body’s reaction to the allure of the woman in her arms. _Emma needs to hurry the hell up and interrupt us!_

Ruby could hear Emma’s steps getting closer, speeding up a little, then stopping abruptly before taking a few more hesitant steps. She pulled back a little from Regina — which was a lot harder than she wanted to admit to herself — so she could see Emma. She felt immediately sorry when she saw the wounded expression on her friend's face, and hoped to hell she’d be forgiven for this at some point. 

“What the hell!?” Emma’s eyes took in the scene before her — Ruby almost curled around Regina — and felt her heart shatter in her chest. _Regina and_ Ruby _?_ She cursed herself, cursed the hopes and dreams that had taken hold of her heart and head over the last few days. _Of course Regina didn’t write those letters. Of course she doesn’t have feelings for me. You really are an idiot, Swan. Why would she want you when you ruined her life?_

“I have to get out of here …” Emma swallowed hard, forcing her words and feelings back down her throat, then turned on her heels and ran up the street. 

Regina pushed Ruby off of her so hard she almost fell off the bench. “What on earth possessed you to try something that … _asinine_ , Miss Lucas? And without asking me first? I would have told you that it was a stupid idea!” 

_Uh-oh. Shit, she’s hopping mad._ “Did you see Emma’s face?” Ruby asked, hoping to deflect the attention from her actions to Emma’s reaction. She wasn’t in the mood to die. 

“How could I with you wrapped around me like a kraken?” Regina spat. “But I heard her … She sounded _appalled_ , so if the point of this was to make me look even less appealing, then I guess you succeeded.” Regina stood and straightened her slightly ruffled clothes. 

"She wasn't appalled or thought you were _less_ appealing, Regina." Ruby hastily jumped up and faced Regina. “My point was to make Emma jealous,” she explained, hardly able to believe that she had to point that out. “And it worked perfectly.” 

"You think that was _jealousy_?" Regina looked up at Ruby, her eyes showing a mix of anger, dismay, and a bright spark of hope. 

"Yeah." Ruby rubbed the back of her neck with a sheepish smile. "I actually think she overreacted a little bit ... I don't think she took it too well.“ 

Regina growled low in her throat. “I need to go after her." 

“No!" Ruby exclaimed. "Let her think on it for a while ... she needs to figure out why she was hurt and jealous." 

For a second, Regina contemplated poofing away to meet up with Emma somewhere or acquainting Ruby with a fireball or two, but then she exhaled slowly and calmed her raging emotions. She couldn’t believe it but she was willing to go along with Ruby’s harebrained scheme for now. “So what do you suggest we do now?” 

Ruby relaxed visibly. “Now _I’m_ going to call Snow and convince her to have a girls’ night tonight … just her and Emma, you know … to talk it all out. And of course I’ll be crashing that party, so I can explain to Emma that she just misunderstood the situation and point her in your direction if she still needs it.” She risked one last long look at Regina while the other woman’s eyes were trained on Main Street, where Emma had vanished. “And you could, I don't know ... go home and write another letter?” 

Surprisingly, Regina nodded in acceptance, and turned to leave. After three steps, she stopped. “I hope for your sake this wasn’t a huge miscalculation on your part,” she said, her voice taking on a dark tinge. “Otherwise you’ll be spending the rest of my life as a rug in front of my fireplace.” 

Ruby didn’t know whether to grin or run, so she decided to do both. Caution was the better part of valor, after all, and she would actually like to live long enough to see the results of her spontaneous plan. 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emma runs, and Snow has a talk with Regina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters. Pity.
> 
> A/N: Here's another chapter. I might have lied when I said there were only one or two more to go (it might actually be more like two or three ... hope you don't mind).
> 
> A/N 2: Thank you all for the love you're showing this story. :)

Emma’s instincts told her to run like hell, so she did, her legs carrying her down Main Street at a quick clip. She always thought better on her feet anyway — quite literally, most of the time — and there was a lot to think about. 

What had she missed? _How_ had she missed it? When had it happened? Ruby and Regina? Had Ruby pounced on a heart-broken Regina, or had Regina decided to get over the loss of her soulmate by rebounding with Ruby? _Oh God, what if Regina had a thing for Ruby the whole time? What if Ruby was the_ something _she needed a distraction from?_

But the thought that was running through her mind the most was: _It’s too late! Now I can never tell her that I want her ... it took me too damn fucking long to figure it out, thanks to Hook and those goddamn fucking letters!_ The letters that she had so hoped had come from Regina. The letters that had made her realize that it was Regina she wanted, not Hook; it was Regina she was in love with and had been for who knew how long. 

The letters that she now felt mocked her feelings because there was no way they were from Regina. No matter what Emma’s heart and gut told her. Even Regina wouldn’t write her love letters and fool around with Ruby at the same time. Unless, of course … 

_Unless it’s some sort of sick revenge … making me realize I love her and then laugh in my face …_

How were they supposed to get past that? Even if it was only for Henry’s sake? Emma took a deep breath, only then realizing that she had broken into a run at some point and was quite winded. She stopped, hands on her knees, trying to catch her breath. When she looked up to see where she had ended up, her eyes fell upon her trusty bug. 

She closed her eyes with a grim smile and dug out her keys. 

**o-o-o**

Half a dozen crumpled sheets of stationary cluttered the otherwise neat desk even as a seventh crumpled paper ball joined their ranks, accompanied by a frustrated sigh. 

Regina dropped her pen and ran her fingers through her hair. She had so much to say to Emma, wanted to tell her so much but now, all of a sudden, her words failed her. She had a feeling this might be the last letter for one reason or another, and she wanted to make it count. 

_How do your pour all of your heart into a single letter?_

Regina got up and walked into the kitchen to get some coffee. Henry was there, just fixing to make himself a snack. “Would you like me to make you a sandwich?” she asked him. 

“Nah, it’s fine,” he replied with a sheepish grin. “I’m just having a PB and J, and even I can’t ruin that.” 

“i know you can, Henry,” Regina said, rolling her eyes. “But I’m your mom and you’re growing up so fast … I just like to do these things for you while I still can, you know?” 

Henry put down his knife and looked at his mother. “Okay, what’s going on?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “You’re acting … strange. Is everything okay? Is it Robin Hood?” 

“No!” Regina’s surprise was evident. “Why would you think that?” 

Henry ignored her question. “It’s Emma then,” he stated confidently instead. “I should have guessed.” Regina gaped at him, so Henry continued. “Come on, Mom. I’m not stupid … Ma’s always been the only one to throw you off your game like that. Are you still mad at her?” 

Regina took a deep breath. Henry didn’t know about her feelings for his other mother. _Should I tell him?_ Regina cleared her throat. “I’m not exactly mad at Emma any more, darling,” she said gently. 

“Oh?” Something in her tone rang a bell in Henry’s head. “Does that mean you finally realized you actually hate her a lot less than you’ve always claimed?” 

“How … What?” she blurted. “What are you talking about?” 

Henry laughed. “Calm down, Mom … I know you actually like her — no matter how mad you were. Or are. Or try to be.” He saw his mother look at him with a weird expression on her face. “I’m not blind, Mom … Grandma and I watch TV and movies, you know, and she loves all those rom coms.” He shrugged. “I’m just glad you’re not mad at her anymore.” 

With that, he grabbed his sandwich and left the kitchen and, a second later, the house, leaving Regina to stare after him. 

Regina shook her head in an attempt not to panic about Henry’s knowing yet cryptic comments that left her wondering what he knew or thought he knew. _At least he probably won’t be surprised if or when he finds out that I’m actually in love with his mother, even though that might not even matter in the grand scheme of things …_

She poured herself a fresh cup of coffee and went back into her study, back to the letter she was determined to write, now more than ever. 

**o-o-o**

Emma’s phone rang insistently, for the third time in the last ten minutes. She gave it a short look — _Snow again_ — before pressing a little harder on the gas. 

Her heart skipped a beat when she passed the town line but she just kept on driving. 

Kept on thinking. 

Kept on telling her heart to stop wanting Regina. 

**o-o-o**

Regina poured her heart out in the letter she was writing, finally having found the words inside herself that she wanted to say. She had realized at some point that her handwriting had lost most of its disguise and was now almost recognizable as her own, but she didn’t stop writing. Emma needed to know anyway, and the time for subterfuge was probably over. 

Her hand hovered over a half-finished word when she heard a loud knock on her door. She finished the sentence, then took another long sip of her coffee, only to grimace when the now cool brew hit her palate. 

There was another knock on the door, this time louder and more … _obnoxious_. Regina wondered if Hook had come by to have words with her but the knocking wasn’t at his level of annoying. _Yet,_ she amended silently when the knocks started again and refused to cease. 

Then a thought hit her: what if that was Emma? Regina jumped up and hurried to the door. 

_Of course it wasn’t Emma,_ Regina thought the second she opened the door to reveal her visitor. _That would have been too much to ask for._ She tried to smile, but was barely able to hide her disappointment. 

“Hello, Regina,” Snow said as she pushed past Regina into the foyer, hitting her with the sleeping Neal’s foot and the diaper bag while she did. “I think we need to talk.” 

Regina rolled her eyes as she let her front door fall closed softly. “What about, dear?” To her dismay, her tone lacked its usual condescension as her brain was still consumed by thoughts of … 

“Emma,” Snow said. “We need to talk about Emma.” 

Regina remembered Ruby’s words, remembered that Snow suspected she had feelings for Emma, and swallowed. “Emma?” she asked, trying to sound only mildly interested. “Why would we have to talk about her? Why would I want to talk to _you_ about her?” 

“Because you love her, and I want you two to be happy,” Snow said with a disarming smile. 

“Ruby,” Regina growled. 

Snow chuckled. “Yes, Ruby told me about her stupid idea,” she admitted. “But I didn’t need her confirmation — I’ve been wondering about your feelings for Emma for a long time now.” 

“How long is a long time?” Regina asked before she could stop herself. 

“Probably Neverland … but most definitely the year in the Enchanted Forest.” 

“Oh.” 

“Yes, oh.” Snow walked into the study and looked around. 

Regina studied Snow suspiciously but followed her into the room. She watched as Snow looked around the room and instinct drove her closer to her desk. Determined not to speak first, Regina leaned against her desk and twisted her hands in front of her thighs. She rolled her eyes at her own nervousness, and picked up her coffee cup. 

"Coffee?" she asked, looking for an excuse to leave the room, if even for a moment. 

Snow perked up at the question. "Sure, thanks," she replied. "Oh, wait ... could I have some tea instead?" 

Regina nodded and left for the kitchen. As soon as she was out of the room, Snow put Neal down on the couch, then jumped up and ran over to the desk to start snooping around. She wasn't sure what was driving her but she simply knew she had to do it, and the desk seemed an obvious starting point. 

Almost immediately her eyes fell on the crumpled balls of paper and the half-written letter. Snow peeked out of the room, listening for the sounds coming from the kitchen, then tiptoed back towards the desk. She stood next to the chair and picked up the letter. “I knew it," she breathed, even as her hand pressed against her chest at the feelings the words brought forth. _Emma needs to know that the letters are Regina's, and I'm going to make sure she does. If I leave it up to them, they’ll probably die of old age before they get their happy ending._

She put the letter down, ran over to the diaper bag and pulled out her phone to take a photo of the desk and letter, just to make sure that Emma would believe her, but what she really wanted — no, _needed_ — was the letter itself. She had just picked it up once more when she heard Regina's steps in the foyer. She dropped the letter and swiftly moved back to the couch. _I need to get Regina out of the house,_ Snow thought. 

"Here's your tea," Regina said as she handed Snow the cup. 

"Thank you," Snow replied. "Oh, would you mind getting me some water as well?" 

Regina nodded with a grim look and walked back out. Snow quickly dialed a number on her phone. "Just listen, I don't have much time," she said as soon as the call was answered. "You need to call Regina in about ten minutes and get her out of her house. I don't care how ... magical emergency … big monsters ... or whatever ... okay, thanks. See you tonight." 

Snow put away her phone just as Regina came back. "Thank you, Regina." 

"You're welcome, dear." Regina sat down in the armchair close to Snow. 

Snow swallowed once, then sat up straight. "Like I said, I know that you have feelings for Emma," she declared bluntly. "And I think you need to tell her." 

"I fail to see how that is any of your business," Regina replied evenly. 

"We're talking about my daughter," Snow said calmly. “Of course it’s my business. I want her to be happy, and believe it or not, I want you to be happy too. If you two find that happiness together, well … I’m not going to stand in the way.” 

Regina just stared at Snow. “I don’t understand you,” she finally replied. “You and Ruby … why would you care about my feelings, my happiness after all I’ve done?” 

“Because you’ve changed,” Snow said as if Regina should know that already. “Because I loved the girl you were, the person you used to be … the good person that’s still inside of you. And because I know that when you love someone, you love them with every fiber of your being.” Snow leaned over and put her hand on Regina’s knee. “Why wouldn’t I want my child to be loved by you? She would be safe and happy and cherished beyond belief.” 

“What about the pirate?” 

“Hook?” Snow snorted. “He can’t give her that. Yes, he helped us in Neverland but only after helping the people who forced us to go there in the first place. He switches alliances more often than his clothes, and I haven’t forgotten that, no matter how nice I’m pretending to be.” 

Regina nodded, allowing a fleeting smile to cross her face, but then she remembered a major, painful detail. “It’s all well and good to know you wouldn’t mind, but the fact is that Emma doesn’t want me … especially not after that display Ruby put on this morning.” 

Snow laughed. “Oh, Regina … Ruby’s going to explain it to Emma, don’t worry. Maybe that was just the kick she needed to finally realize her feelings for you are much stronger than friendship.” 

“And _maybe_ it made her realize that it’s just not worth it,” Regina countered. “That Hook is the better, easier choice after all.” 

“Regina,” Snow started quietly but intently. “When you refused to talk to her, Emma couldn’t deal with it. She shut out everyone … and the few times I actually got her to talk to me, all she could talk about was _you_ because that’s _all_ she was thinking about.” 

“She talked about me?” 

“Whenever she opened her mouth,” Snow nodded. “And I think she’s been in love for you for a long time too, but sh— 

Regina’s phone rang, interrupting whatever Snow had wanted to say. Regina got up and walked over to her phone. “Hello? … What? Slow down, David … Why didn’t you call Emma? … Voicemail?” _Damn you, Emma Swan. Where are you?_ “Don’t move! I’ll be right there … and don’t let Henry out of your sight, shepherd!” 

Snow bit back a smile when Regina whirled around. “David says there’s a magic disturbance in the forest and Henry is right in the middle of it as usual,” she explained in a slightly panicked-sounding staccato, and Snow almost felt bad for her deception. “I have to go!” 

“Go,” Snow encouraged her. “I can let myself out.” 

Regina nodded and threw her hands up in her signature move. 

Snow waited until the purple smoke had completely cleared before calmly getting up and walking over to the desk. She folded the letter in half and put it in a cream-colored envelope, then left the mansion with a satisfied little smile, letter safely stowed in Neal’s diaper bag. 

**o-o-o**

Emma drove until she found a deserted spot overlooking the water. Driving around for hours and hours had helped her think, and she had come to the conclusion that Regina would never use this kind of revenge. Not after everything that happened between them. No, if Regina wanted revenge, Emma would certainly know about it. And if the letters weren’t some attempt at revenge, then they had to be from someone else, which meant that Emma had to make up her mind about what to do with them. 

And about Regina. 

Looking out over the water, Emma came to a decision. If she couldn’t be the woman at Regina’s side — her lover — then she would try her damn best to be Regina’s friend. Regina deserved happiness after everything life had thrown at her, and if that wasn’t with Emma, then Emma had to learn to live with it. 

She was sure the pain would stop at some point. 

The first thing she was going to do, however, was forget about the letters and whoever might have written them. She needed to stop thinking of them as Regina’s, which meant that she had to stop thinking about them altogether. If she had them with her right now, she would toss them into the ocean but she knew herself well enough to know that once she had them in her hand again she would probably hang onto them for a while, no matter what. They had made her feel cherished and valued and loved, and that was not something she could just throw away. 

Her stomach rumbled loudly, and Emma checked the time on her phone. H _uh, no wonder I’m hungry, it’s getting close to dinner time …_ She stood, stretching her whole body with a long sigh and walked back to her bug. _I could use some food and a couple of drinks._

She drove back into Storybrooke and toward her parents’ apartment. Weren’t mothers supposed to be helpful when you had your heart broken? Guess this is where Snow can show what kind of mother she is. 

_Hopefully, she’s the kind that serves her advice and soothing words with a heavy dose of alcohol._


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Regina is annoyed, Snow is a chicken, and Emma finally gets an answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still not my characters.
> 
> A/N: One more chapter after this, maybe two, depending on my mood (and on what our ladies are up to). 
> 
> A/N 2: Thank you all for the love you've shown this little tale. Much appreciated. :)

Regina was disgusted. Disgusted, angry, and shaking her head at David and herself. There had been no trace of a magic disturbance in the forest, nor had Henry been anywhere near the forest. One phone call to him had cleared that right up, and Regina made a mental note never to just jump at Charming's words again, even if he used Henry as bait. For all she knew her son had been sitting his room or Granny's reading comics the whole time. 

When pressed David had insisted that he was sure he had seen Henry and _something_ but Regina didn't need Emma's superpower to know he was lying — the good guys were always so _very_ bad at it — she just didn’t know why. Still she had felt around with her own magic for a bit to see if there was anything in the forest that shouldn't be — better to be safe than sorry — and she was certain that it was sheer coincidence that she found a small cluster of pixies not too far from where David had met her. 

It took her over an hour to deal with the recalcitrant, mischievous pixies but now she was finally home, tired, annoyed, her clothes more than slightly rumpled and not a little muddy. Regina leaned back against her front door with a sigh, feeling the tension leave her body. 

"Henry?" she called out. 

No reply, so Regina pulled off her Jimmy Choos, frowning at the mud splatters on the expensive material. _Another pair ruined._ She took off her blazer as she was walking into the kitchen for some much-needed coffee, which was where she spotted a note addressed to her in Henry’s handwriting. 

_Doing a school project with Paige. Might stay for dinner. I’ll let you know._

_Henry_

_Well, that’s concise,_ she thought with a sardonic smile, but at least he was over the phase where he’d just run off without a word. 

Once her coffee was done, she took two grateful long sips. A long, hot bath sounded great right about now. She walked past her study without even looking inside before heading up the stairs. 

She’d have to finish the letter to Emma later. 

**o-o-o**

Emma walked into her parents’ apartment and slammed the door, only remembering how bad an idea that was when she heard her little brother wail in displeasure at being woken so rudely. 

“Sorry,” Emma called out immediately. “Kinda forgot about the little guy,” she added in a mumble she hoped her mother didn’t hear. 

“Emma?” Snow called out. “Is that you?” 

“Yeah, just me.” Emma walked in the direction of Snow’s voice and her brother’s screams. When she was in a bad mood like today, she was not entirely unhappy she missed all of that with Henry but she would never admit that out loud. “Is that okay?” 

“Of course it’s okay,” Snow said. Then Emma could hear an exasperated, “Where on earth is that pacifier?” 

Then the apartment was blessedly quiet. 

“Thank God,” Emma muttered under her breath. 

“Hello, honey,” Snow said as she walked into the room. “So nice of you to come by … and just in time for dinner.” She pointed at the take-out bags sitting on the kitchen counter. 

“Did you know I was coming?” Emma wasn’t sure she liked that. She preferred being unpredictable. 

“We weren’t sure, just hopeful,” came a voice from the corner of the room Emma had ignored so far. “I just brought enough for three.” 

Emma whirled around at the sound, anger dancing in her eyes. “Ruby.” The sound came from a place low in her throat. “What the fuck are _you_ doing here?” 

“Language, Emma,” Snow chastised her. “Your brother is nearby.” 

“He can’t understand a word of what I’m saying yet,” Emma hissed without turning around to her mother, her eyes never leaving Ruby’s face. Unconsciously her hands clenched and unclenched against her thighs. She took a deep breath to calm herself down, trying to remember the decision she had made while staring out at the sea. “So you and Regina, huh?” 

Ruby winced at the bitterness in Emma’s tone, the rawness of her voice, and she knew that her little impromptu plan had hurt more than it helped. “Emma, I’m here to explain,” she began. 

“Save it,” Emma snarled. “I really don’t want to hear it.” 

Ruby took a couple of steps towards Emma. “Please, you’re getting this all wrong,” she pleaded. “Let me explain … there’s no—“ 

Emma slashed a hand through the air. “I said save it!” She made for the door. “I’m going to leave you to it and find someplace else to get drunk in peace.” 

“Emma, no,” Snow said determinedly. “You will sit down and listen to Ruby.” Emma stopped walking but her whole body was tense and one hair from exploding out of the apartment. “Emma,” Snow coaxed. “It _really_ was just a misunderstanding.” 

“Didn’t look like one to me.” 

“I know,” Ruby said, “and that’s my fault.” 

“Yeah, sure,” Emma snorted. “And Regina had nothing to do with holding on to you like a clingy koala …” 

“She really didn’t, Emma,” Ruby insisted. “We were just talking and she was being very nice to me and … and then she smelled so good and I just felt the urge to hug her,” she fibbed, hoping that the small amount of truth in her words would fool Emma’s lie detecting abilities. 

Emma bit her lower lip. She wanted to believe it so hard but she wasn’t ready to trust Ruby was telling the truth. “So you’re saying that the whole thing was one-sided?” Her tone showed her disbelief. “It looked like she was clinging to you for dear life.” 

Ruby hoped she wasn’t just imagining the slight softening around Emma’s eyes and in her tone. “She probably was afraid of falling off the bench is all,” she joked. 

Emma just rolled her eyes. “Yeah, right.” Suddenly she shot Ruby a sharp, knowing look. “You’re attracted to Regina, aren’t you? Even if that hug was as innocent as you claim it was and there’s nothing going on between you … you actually _want_ there to be something, don’t you?” 

Ruby wondered what to say to that. It was true … if Regina weren’t so hopelessly in love with Emma she would definitely ask her out herself. 

Emma was losing patience with Ruby’s silence and she took a menacing step forward. “Don’t you?” she hissed again. 

“Emma.” Snow’s voice was a warning. 

“Even if it were true, it wouldn’t matter,” Ruby finally muttered. “It could never happen.” 

“Why not?” Emma asked. “Anybody would be blessed to have Regina in their lives and if she’s also interested in you …” 

Ruby and Snow shared a look. “I know,” Ruby agreed. “But … here’s the thing, Emma: it’s not me Regina is interested in.” 

“It’s really not,” Snow added. 

Emma looked from one woman to the other and back, her eyebrows raised to her hairline. “You’ve been making these strange comments for a while,” she said to her mother. “And come to think of it,” she turned to Ruby, “you were acting pretty funny as well this morning. What the hell is going on here?” 

“Emma,” Snow sighed. 

“Don’t tell me to watch my language, Snow! Just tell me what it is the two of you think you know that I don’t!” 

“There’s something you need to see,” Snow said and held up one finger before disappearing into the other room. 

“What …” Emma muttered, looking at Ruby for some information. 

“Just wait,” Ruby said. She cleared her throat. “Emma, I’m really sorry about earlier. I swear on Granny’s life there’s nothing going on with me and Regina.” 

“On Granny’s life, huh?” 

“Yep.” 

Before Emma could say anything else, Snow returned, an envelope in her hand which she held out for her daughter. 

“What’s that?” Emma asked suspiciously, not moving to take it. 

“It’s a letter,” Snow said. “A letter for you … a _new_ one.” 

Emma stared at the rectangle in Snow’s hand as if it could jump up and bite her. She had just decided to forget about those letters and whoever wrote them, and now there was a new one? “Why do you have that?” was the only thing she could think to ask, her throat and voice dry. 

“Because I stole it,” Snow replied with a shrug. “Still a bandit inside, I guess.” 

“You know who wrote the letters,” Emma stated, not quite sure if she should be angry or happy. She swallowed hard. She’d been waiting to find out, hoping it was Regina, but now that the answer was right in front of her, she wasn’t sure if she really wanted to know. What if it was Leroy or Whale? Or _worse_? "I'm not ... I don't know ... I'm not sure I want to know ..." she stammered, still not moving an inch. 

"What?!" Ruby exclaimed. "What do you mean?" 

Snow's face fell a little but it was soon replaced by a look of understanding. "Oh, honey, I know your day has been difficult so far, and maybe it's all a little much," she said calmly. "But trust me when I say you really want to know." 

"What she said," Ruby agreed. 

"But I’d understand if you want to read this when you're alone," Snow continued as she walked over to the kitchen counter and picked up a pen. "Just give me a second, and then you can take this and leave ... and read it at your leisure, okay?" 

Emma nodded dumbly, wondering what Snow was up to now. She watched as her mother pulled the letter out of the envelope and turned it around to scribble some words on the back. Once she was done, she put it back in the envelope and handed it to Emma. 

"Please trust me, honey." Snow smiled when Emma's hand seemed to grab the letter in an automatic motion. "There you go ... you won't regret it." 

Emma wanted to get out of her mother's apartment to think about what to do. All she had wanted was to get drunk and whine to her mother about Ruby and Regina and the unfairness of life, and now she was standing here with a letter in her hand that either promised hope — if she trusted her mother's words — or shattered the last remnants of it that she still carried in her heart. But Snow wouldn't let her run into disaster without a warning, and if she knew ... 

Emma's hand clenched around the letter as she let go of the breath she had been holding. "I'm gonna go," she rasped. 

"Of course," Snow said. "Oh, and I'm going to send you a message that you can open if you need proof that what I added to the letter is true.” She blinked when Emma just nodded and ran out of the apartment at a jog without a word of goodbye. 

Ruby pouted. "This sucks," she grumbled. "I wanted to see her face when she found out … Why didn’t you just tell her?” 

Snow grimaced. “I chickened out ... I have no idea how Emma's going to react … I just hope we did the right thing.” 

**o-o-o**

Emma sat behind the wheel in her bug just staring at the letter. She held it with just her two index finger pressed to opposite corners and twirled it around and around with her other fingers. There was nothing on the front, nothing on the back that indicated anything. _Nothing, nothing_ , she repeated again and again in her as each side moved past her eyes. 

Suddenly there was a knock on her window, making Emma jump in her seat. The letter fell to the floor and she scrambled after it before rolling down her window. “Hey, what’s up?” 

David wondered why his daughter was so jumpy. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s fine,” Emma replied easily. “Just on my way home.” 

“All right …,” he drawled. “It’s just … you’ve been sitting here for a while …” 

“Must have gotten lost in thought.” Emma shrugged off his concern and tossed the letter onto the passenger seat before starting the car. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” 

David watched as Emma drove off, a frown on his face. “I guess,” he muttered, making a mental note to ask Snow if she knew what was going on. 

**o-o-o**

Emma pulled the key out of the ignition before the bug had even come to a complete stop, causing it to jump a foot forward with a loud noise of complaint. She stormed into her apartment and slammed the door, only to lean against it as she tossed her keys into a bowl by the door. She gripped the envelope and turned it in her hands a few more times with trembling fingers, still not sure if she really wanted to know who the author was. 

She really didn't want to have confirmation that it had _not_ been Regina. 

She remembered her mother's face as she handed her the letter, the hopeful, happy look. _Snow would never have given me this if it was bad. But why the hell didn’t she just tell me?_ She grabbed her phone a little tighter, tempted to just open Snow's message and read the letter later ... or not at all. 

_Since when are you a coward, Swan?_

Torn, she walked into her kitchen and put the letter and her phone next to each other on the counter before opening her fridge and taking out a beer. She emptied half the bottle in one long, slow draft, her back to the counter, then tossed the cap over her shoulder. 

When she turned around, she saw that the cap had landed on the envelope. "Guess that's a sign," she muttered. 

She set down the beer and took the letter in her hands, opening the flap of the envelope in one smooth motion. With no further input from her brain her hands pulled out the letter and her eyes automatically started to read. 

She read the letter hurriedly, trying in vain not to let the words touch her but when her brain registered what she was reading, she stopped halfway through and started from the beginning, focusing on the words this time. She couldn’t deny that they touched her deep inside, that they made her feel that warmth again, and she was shocked when the letter ended abruptly with some space still left at the bottom of the page. She looked at the words again. The handwriting was different from the previous letters, more refined … it looked almost _familiar_. With one last deep breath, she turned the letter to look at the words her mother had scribbled on the back. 

_Regina wrote this._

A wave of relief rolled through Emma and escaped in a sob, followed by heat as she realized that the woman she had secretly loved for who knew how long did actually return her feelings. She didn’t even need whatever proof Snow had sent her — she just knew it was true. 

But as quickly as the feelings of relief and love had come, they were gone again, replaced by a sudden surge of anger, hot like lava, the likes of which only Regina had ever managed to bring forth in her. 

“How dare she?” Emma growled low in her throat as she grabbed her leather jacket and her keys and stormed out to her bug, the letter in a death grip. A second later she was speeding towards the mansion, tires squealing. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Emma is an idiot, Regina is defensive, and Snow loses her patience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not my characters.
> 
> A/N: So, this is it. The longest chapter marks the ending of this sweet, short ride. I hope you all had as much fun with this as I had. :) Thank you all for the love you've shown the story from the beginning.

Regina stretched languidly after gently patting herself dry with a ridiculously fluffy towel. She caught her reflection in the mirror and for the first time in many months actually looked at the woman she saw there. She knew she was attractive, especially when she appeared relaxed like right now, after a long, hot bath. 

Her skin was glowing and flawless, her hair wet and slicked back, drops of water running down her body from the tips. _If all my scars were on the outside instead of on the inside, people would certainly have reason to see me as a monster._ She allowed herself a moment of imagining her body scattered with the same scars her soul carried, then shook herself. _What is wrong with you tonight? You’re not usually this morbid …_

Her thoughts were interrupted by the buzz of her phone. She picked it up and saw a message from Henry. _Can I stay with Grams and Grandpa tonight?_

Regina sighed, never happy when Henry wasn’t with her but she knew he sometimes needed time with his grandparents, especially now that he was living with her again. She texted back that it was fine, reminding him of his bedtime as neither Snow nor David could be trusted with that. He texted back a smiley and a thumbs up, and Regina went back to her evening. She wrapped herself in a slate-gray silk robe, not bothering with any other clothes, and ran a brush through her wet hair. _It’s getting too damn long … too much like the Evil Queen’s_ , she mused and with a flick of her wrist — because she was in just the right kind of mood for it — removed four inches. _Much better._

She was just about to start drying her hair when there was a loud knock on her door —loud and persistent. Regina sighed and made her way downstairs wrapping the thin robe more firmly around her body. 

**o – o – o**

Emma banged on the door impatiently, the five minute drive not having done much for her mood. She felt torn between wanting to just pull Regina into her arms and yelling at her, torn between the happiness that Regina wrote the letters and the feeling that the other woman was only playing with her. _Who on earth wrote love letters and signed them with someone else’s name if they were serious?_

She took a deep breath, still uncertain what would happen once Regina opened that door — what exactly she wanted to say — but she knew she needed to get this doubt out of her system. She’d figure out what she wanted to say once she saw Regina’s reaction. 

There were soft footsteps behind the door, then a quiet, “Who is it?” 

“Emma.” 

“Oh.” When the door didn’t open straight away, Emma barely restrained herself from banging on the door again. She was just about to yell at Regina when the door opened. “Hello, Emma.” 

Emma’s higher brain functions shut off with a light fizz of white noise. One look at Regina, hair slicked back, in what looked like nothing but a robe promptly made her forget what she came here for. “Er … you …” 

Regina waited patiently for Emma to come in but when the other woman appeared to be frozen on the spot, Regina gently took her arm and pulled her inside, closing the door behind her. "What can I do for you, Miss Swan?" Regina asked as she led them into the kitchen. 

That pulled Emma out of her stupor. "I came to show you something," she mumbled, suddenly feeling like she lost all the steam that had powered her here. 

"Oh?" Regina asked over her shoulder from her spot in the open fridge. "Would you care for something to drink?" She was confused about Emma’s slightly strange behavior and resorted to polite hostess talk to counter that. 

Emma shook her head only adding a verbal response when she realized that Regina still wasn't looking at her. Regina shrugged and pulled out a bottle of chardonnay and poured herself a glass. Emma waved her off when Regina offered again, drawing Regina’s eyes to the letter in Emma’s hand. 

“What’s that?” Regina asked between several rapid sips of her wine. She leaned her head back when she swallowed the cold liquid, bringing back some moisture to a very dry throat caused by Emma’s presence. She had no idea what Emma wanted, and Emma looked agitated, making her very nervous. 

Emma looked from Regina to the letter and back. “ _That_ is the reason I’m here,” she explained. 

Regina felt the ball of tension in her stomach tighten and grow as she wondered what was going on. “All right,” she said slowly, trying to stall whatever was coming next. “What is it?” 

“You remember I’ve been getting letters for a while?” Emma asked roughly. “This is the one I got today.” 

_Emma received a letter today? How was that even possible?_ The bad feeling intensified. Had Hook finally taken to writing his own letters? But if that was the case why did Emma come to her with it? “All right,” she repeated, at a loss for any other words. 

Emma pushed the letter into Regina’s free hand. “Read it.” 

“I can’t, Emma.” Regina took a step back, trying to avoid the sheet of paper as if it were contaminated. She really didn’t want to read whatever the pirate had written. “That is … it’s between you and who- whoever wrote you that letter.” 

Emma pushed forward until Regina was backed into the corner of her kitchen counters. “Read it, please,” she repeated in a voice that brooked no argument. “I want you to.” 

With a sigh Regina put down her wine glass and took the letter with shaking hands. “If I must.” 

“You must,” Emma insisted. “Oh, and read it out loud, please,” she added when Regina looked down at the letter in her hands. Then she took a couple of steps back, giving Regina some room to breathe. 

Regina cleared her throat as she took in the first words. Her heart skipped a beat as her eyes widened and shot to Emma, but the other woman’s face gave nothing away. Suddenly her whole afternoon made a lot more sense … Snow’s impromptu visit, Charming’s unnecessary call … _I’m going to kill that meddling idiot Snow!_

“Are you reading yet?” Emma asked with a small smirk. 

“Are you hearing my voice?” Regina growled back as she wondered if Emma had figured out who had written the letter … of if Snow had betrayed yet another secret. She cleared her throat again. _“Dear Emma,”_ she started. “Promising start,” she snarled, then almost bit her tongue in an effort to call back her words. She had no idea why she was being so _contrary_ , but she felt pushed into a corner — literally and figuratively — and reacted on instinct. 

“Can’t you just read?” Emma asked plaintively, tempted to just rip the letter from Regina’s hands and point to the words on the back. But the desire to watch Regina’s reaction was stronger, as was the urge to hear those words in her voice. “Without the snarky commentary?” 

“You do know who you’re talking to, don’t you, dear?” 

Emma just snorted and made a dismissive gesture and pointed to the letter. 

_“Dear Emma,”_ Regina repeated. _“You may be wondering why I keep writing these letters instead of just talking to you. Why I’m not simply walking up to you and tell you what I’ve begun to tell you in these pages. You see, words come so much easier when I’m not faced with the distraction of your presence. When I’m near you, my words seem to get a life of their own. They hide and twist and turn, and lose their way on the way to my tongue, and other words make it there first, words I often don’t even mean to say.”_

_Like right now._

Regina’s voice had taken on a hoarse tinge but she continued reading. _“Words are difficult, especially when you want them to mean so much. They are used too carelessly these days — wasted on irrelevant things, used up for country songs and bad commercials. So here I am, burning with love for you and I can’t say those words … but this is my life right now, sitting here, writing to you, saying things I’ve wanted to say for a long time but couldn’t.”_

Regina looked up, eyes shimmering. She felt every single one of those words deeply. “This is where it ends,” she whispered. “I don’t—“ 

“Look on the back,” Emma croaked, voice thick. Hearing the letter in Regina’s voice had an even bigger effect on her than she had anticipated. It took every ounce of will power she had not to bridge the distance between them and kiss Regina, let her know she wasn’t alone in feeling that way. 

Regina turned the page in her hand and swallowed. “Regina wrote this.” _That answers that._

Emma squared her jaw against her feelings. She took a step towards Regina, the need to know burning a hole in her stomach. “Did you think this was a great joke? Or was it revenge for bringing Marian back?” 

“I was trying to make you feel loved and appreciated,” Regina countered, looking offended. 

“And you thought playing with my feelings was the right way to do that?” Emma yelled, her voice breaking a little. 

“Oh, come on, Miss Swan,” Regina hissed, feeling vulnerable and defensive. “I wasn’t playing with your feelings … you could have figured it out easily enough if you had used your brain!” 

“So now it’s _my_ fault?” 

“As much as it is mine,” Regina sighed, trying to get the situation under control. Why did Emma always have to make things so difficult? Why did she always manage to enrage Regina like no other? “When Hook came to me for help, I decided to use the opportunity to tell you how I feel … and I was being _very_ obvious about using language that could never have actually come from that pirate.” 

“For future reference, Regina,” Emma said slowly, the effort to stay calm making her voice and body tight. “People who get love letters usually don't spend too much time analyzing the fucking language.” Her voice raised at the end, no matter how much she tried to stay in control. 

“You _wanted_ to believe it was Hook,” Regina sneered. “You said so yourself. You wanted it all — the romance, the deep feelings, the beautiful words all wrapped in a scruffy pirate package.” 

“I can’t believe you even got me to go on a date with him,” Emma shouted, ignoring Regina’s accusation. “After I hadn’t so much as looked at him in weeks!” 

“If I’d known that all it took to get you to go on a date were some fancy words, I would have tried that ages ago!” Regina tried to move away from Emma, to escape the pain of being so near to the woman she loved and yet so unattainably far away. The only feeling she was getting from Emma right now was that Ruby had been horribly wrong about Emma’s feelings for her. 

Emma stood her ground, although her shoulders visibly lost some of its tension when she saw how cornered Regina was feeling. “Why didn’t you?” she asked, suddenly deflated. She was _happy_ the letters were from Regina, _goddammit_ , she was in _love_ with the woman … she just really couldn’t stand being taken for a fool. “Really, Regina, if you wanted to go out with me … why didn’t you just ask? Why hide behind Hook of all people?” 

“I never meant to make you feel anything but good, Emma … you have to believe me,” Regina protested. She fought down the urge to lash out and opened herself up instead, hoping to calm Emma down, so they could actually talk. “I just told you how I feel in the only way I knew how.” 

“If that’s how you show your feelings, you really suck at it!” Emma grumbled, running her hands through her hair and then down her face in exasperation. “What if I had slept with him because your words convinced me that he was worth it, huh?” 

Regina flinched. “He even wanted me to pretend to be him,” she admitted, “and talk to you on your date to get you in bed.” 

“He wanted me to sleep with you? Looking like him?” 

Regina shook her head. “No, he wanted me to get you there, then replace me,” she explained. “I refused, of course … I wanted you to figure it out so very much, Emma. I was so glad when you push—” She broke off, not wanting to reveal too much but it was too late. 

“You were _there_?” Emma asked. “And here I thought meeting you after the date was a wonderful coincidence …” 

“Emma,” Regina stepped closer to her, well into her personal space, and reached out to touch her but Emma took a step back. “I decided to meet you _after_ your date because I wanted to make you feel better … and to talk. I knew I had been unfair to you over the last few months … and I wanted to clear the air.” She paused and took a breath. “I wanted to tell you about the letters, wanted to tell you it was me …” 

“But?” Emma wanted to hit herself for not insisting more, asking more, pushing more when she had a feeling that something was going on with Regina that night. 

Regina closed her eyes to the sight of Emma’s hard, flinty gaze. “But then you told me you wanted us to be _friends …_ and I thought that was all you could ever want.” 

“So you just chickened out?” Emma scoffed. 

“I knew I couldn’t tell you in person but I did not _chicken out_ as you call it,” Regina insisted. “The letter your mother stole from my desk today … that was going to be the last one, the one where I tell you how I feel, even more clearly than before … and I was going to sign it with _my_ name.” Regina laughed bitterly. “Once again your mother took it upon herself to interfere with my life.” 

That stopped Emma cold. “She did it to help,” she tried to explain, voice a little softer now. "She really meant well." 

“The road to my personal hell is paved with Snow’s good intentions,” Regina stated with a brittle tone that revealed the hurt behind the words. "And here you are, making me read my own letter to you while accusing _me_ of playing with _your_ feelings." 

Emma flinched. Worded like this, she could see that it may not have been her brightest idea, but she had been hurt and had not been thinking too clearly. Apparently, she had been managed to hurt Regina right back. 

Regina looked up to meet Emma's eyes, her own open and vulnerable, not hiding a thing. “I know I’m not what you want … but let me say the words just this once: I love you, Emma. I meant … I _mean_ every word I said in my letters, _every single one_ ... and I apologize for hurting you because I was seeing no other option." She sighed and ran a hand through her drying hair, reining in her tears by sheer force of will until Emma had left. 

Emma watched as Regina curled one hand protectively into her robe over her chest and the other around her stomach. To her it looked like Regina was holding herself together with her own arms, and Emma’s ached in response, burning with the need to hold Regina. But before Emma’s feet could even start to move, Regina spoke again. “I’d appreciate it if you could leave me to my evening now.” 

“No … Regina, wait,” Emma protested. She needed to stay, needed to tell Regina that she was exactly who Emma wanted. “Please … I know I handled this all wrong bu—“ 

“Leave, Miss Swan,” Regina ordered, voice thick. 

“No, Regina, I need to tell y—“ Emma’s words vanished in a plume of smoke along with her body as Regina threw up her hands and transported Emma out to the porch. “Noo! Dammit, Regina!” Emma turned right around to storm back inside but found that the door was locked. “Nooo! Let me in! Don’t you realize I love you too?” 

Nothing moved inside the house so either Regina hadn’t heard her or chose to ignore her. Dejectedly, Emma paced back and forth on the porch. 

Halfway through her ninth turn her phone rang. “Regina?” she asked hopefully without looking at the screen. 

“Uh … Emma?” came Snow’s tentative voice. 

“Sorry,” Emma sighed, not really in the mood to talk to anyone but Regina. 

“I just wanted to … you know … hear how things are going with you?” The curiosity in Snow’s voice was only thinly veiled, and Emma could hear Ruby in the background as well. “Did you read that letter by any chance?” 

“I did,” Emma replied wearily. 

“You don’t sound happy,” Snow stated with concern. “I really thought you’d be happier. Why aren’t you happy?” 

“I kinda was … _am_ ,” Emma muttered. “But then I was mad and went over to Regina and did something stupid.” 

“What did you do?” 

“I made Regina read that letter to me without letting on that I knew it was hers …” 

“Oh, Emma,” Snow sighed. “I take it Regina wasn’t too happy with your approach?” 

Emma huffed. “Well, I wasn’t too happy with her approach either.” 

“What happened?” 

Emma hesitated. “I accused her of playing with my feelings.” 

“Oh, honey …” 

“… and Regina said I should have realized it wasn’t Hook, and she’s right of course, and I sort of did … but you know me when I’m mad and hurt …” 

“Fight or flight …” 

“Yeah … but then R-Regina said she loved me …” 

Snow made a happy sound. “I never thought I’d be happy about that, but I am,” she said with an audible smile. “Did you tell her you love her too?” 

Once more Emma’s hackles rose at the thought of being so transparent. “She threw me out of her house. How come everybody thinks I’m in love with Regina when even I hadn’t figured it out?” 

There was a pregnant pause at the other end of the line, followed by a resigned sigh. “Would you like me to list the reasons alphabetically or by order of importance?” 

Emma said nothing, so Snow continued. “So I guess Regina now thinks that her feelings are one-sided? Well done, Emma! Now fix it.” 

Emma couldn’t remember ever hearing so much snark in Snow’s tone. “Hey, aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” 

“Honey, I love you,” Snow replied immediately. “And I _am_ on your side, which is why I’m telling you that you need to go back right now and tell Regina that you love her before … well, you remember the last few weeks when she wasn’t talking to you …” 

Emma knew her mother was right but that didn’t mean she had to admit it. She also knew she would make her way back inside, had known since the moment Regina had tossed her out. “I was going back anyway,” she grumbled into the phone. “Please don’t call again … I’ll call you tomorrow.” 

“Good luck.” 

Emma ended the call and squared her shoulders. Then she walked back to the door. She tried the doorknob again but it was still locked, so she put one finger against the lock and focused her magic. Almost immediately she could hear the lock opening. _Well, lockpicking has always been one of my better skills._ With one last inhale and slow exhale, she walked inside. 

“Regina?” she called out, but her voice cracked with nerves, and the sound barely made it past the foyer. Emma walked back into the kitchen, hoping to find Regina there, but the room was empty. Her eyes fell on a red spot on the floor and the remains of a shattered wine glass, and her heart thudded almost painfully in her chest. “What did you do?” she muttered. 

She looked into the study next but the room was empty as well, as was the rest of the downstairs area. “Regina?” Emma called out again, and again there was no reply. 

Emma’s determined steps ate up the stairs in no time. She paused at the top of the stairs and looked down the hallway. Almost all of the doors were slightly ajar, but the door to her immediate right was open all the way and clearly led to Henry’s room. The door across from that was his bathroom. 

She slowly walked along the hallway. “Regina?” 

The silence was beginning to really get to Emma, and her hands began to tremble and sweat. She rubbed them on her jeans as she carefully peeked inside the room next to Henry’s and found Regina’s upstairs office. Across from that was what looked like a guest bedroom. Emma’s eyes were drawn to the one door that was actually closed — she just knew that she would find Regina there. 

Five big steps took her to the door but she didn’t dare open it. “Regina?” She knocked softly. When everything remained quiet, she tried the doorknob. 

_Locked, of course._

“Regina, please let me in,” Emma tried again. “I need to talk to you. You didn’t even give me a chance to reply.” 

“Don’t you think you’ve said enough?” came the muffled question through the door. 

“I’m not going away,” Emma said. “And if you don’t want to let me in, I’m going to talk to you through this door.” She could have opened it with magic, but there was no way Regina would forgive her if she invaded her privacy like that. “I’m sorry I made you read the letter to me. That was … harsh, I guess. I admit I wanted to see your reaction but most of all I just wanted to hear the words in your voice … the way I’ve been hearing all your letters in my head.” 

Emma thought she heard movement behind the door but it could have just as well been a gust of wind chasing leaves outside the house. “Even though you signed the letter with Hook’s name, the feelings I got from them weren’t feelings that he _ever_ inspired. You really did manage to make them sound nothing like him.” 

Emma rested her forehead against the door, raising one hand to lightly scratch the wood. “They made me feel valued … appreciated, and not just for my body or my looks, and I … in the beginning I _made_ myself believe it really was Hook. He was the only one I knew who wanted me … but even before he ruined that impression by opening his mouth on our date, it wasn’t _his_ voice I heard when I read the letters in bed at night. It was _yours_.” 

Now there was definite movement behind the door, and Emma held her breath. "Regina?" she whispered. "Please let me in so I can look into your eyes when I tell you that no matter how idiotic I behaved today ... this is my dream come true." 

The lock clicked but the door didn't open. Emma carefully turned the doorknob and opened the door. And there Regina stood, still in nothing but her robe, eyes red from crying. Emma took two large steps and pulled Regina into her arms. "Oh, Regina, I'm so sorry." 

Regina didn't resist but she also didn't hug her back. "Tell me," she whispered roughly. 

Emma pulled back and cupped Regina's face. "Even when I agreed to go on a date with Hook, it felt wrong. I wanted it to be you … the letters, the date, the feelings … I wanted it to be you." She wiped Regina's tears with her thumbs. "I love you, Regina, and if you'll have me even though I'm--" 

"An idiot," Regina rasped, her heart trying to beat its way out of her chest at Emma’s words. She was too happy about them to continue this stupid fight. "Unfortunately for me, I find myself utterly and completely in love with you too, Miss Swan ... despite your tendency towards the idiotic." 

Emma snorted. "And I'm in love with you despite your complete inability to talk to me like a normal person and just tell me that you like me." Her voice turned deadly serious. "I don't like playing games, and I'm sorry I turned the whole thing around on you like that ... but I was scared that it was just some kind of joke." 

Regina nodded. "I do understand that," she whispered, "but it hurt nonetheless because it reinforced my fear that you could never want me the way I want you." 

“Oh, but I do,” Emma promised fervently. ”Can I kiss you now?" 

"I don't know if you can, but you ma--" 

The rest was cut off by Emma's lips covering Regina's in a tender and heartfelt kiss. "Will you go on a date with me?" Emma asked once they parted, sounding slightly breathless. 

"On one condition." Regina's breathed, her mind still lost in the kiss. "We go nowhere near the harbor." 

"No beach, no harbor, no water anywhere," Emma promised with a smile. 

"Then, yes," Regina agreed. 

"Regina?" 

"Hmm?" 

“What happened to your hair?” 

“Too much Evil Queen, not enough Regina.” Regina’s reply tickled against Emma’s throat. 

“Good,” Emma breathed against Regina’s ear. “I always liked Regina.” 

They went back to kissing, leisurely at first, languidly exploring each other, but before long the kisses turned hot and wet and desire pooled heavily in Emma’s lower belly. 

“Regina?” 

“Hmm,” Regina hummed around Emma’s earlobe before biting it gently. She was having difficulty figuring out why Emma was talking at a time like this. 

Emma groaned deep in her throat as Regina paid homage to her ear, jaw and neck, nibbling, sucking, kissing every inch she could access. ”How much of a stickler … are you about … the three date rule? Because you look sinfully gorgeous in that robe and I want you so fu—“ 

Her only reply was a heated kiss and the wonderful feeling of Regina pressing her whole body against her as she maneuvered them deeper into the room and towards the bed. 

To Regina’s — and Emma’s — satisfaction, Emma’s vocabulary was reduced to near-incoherence for the rest of the night, even when she was begging for _more, harder, deeper_. 

**o – o – o**

The next day, Snow called too early, Ruby fought a hangover, Henry surprised his blushing mothers in the kitchen, and Hook bought a fishing boat that he immediately took out to sea. 

And Robin Hood drank coffee with chilies and wondered why Ruby and Granny were laughing. 

**The End**


End file.
